Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Today, after having surgery, I called my family to tell them I was out, safe, and on my way home. The first thing they asked was if they could "borrow" some of my pain meds. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Just put the TV on Jersey Shore. The stupidity will make you forget all about your pain.
EllyMo 15
I keep ferrets for this exact reason.
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Comments (108)
hateevryone 15
-____- sucks to be you
Sulliben 1
Well then you're a retard. There's only so much someone can help you!
71cudalover 0
Only thing that truly relives back pains is medical marijuana
heyyyaubrey 9
how about PAIN MEDS.
kristena103 14
I have long wooden sticks for that same reason
cuddlebunny3548 11
Why didn't you take the first one while he was still home?
Carlie_McCartney 1
Now would be a good time to invest in one of those claw things that can reach far away things, I think...
iyazwoodfle 4
Was a phone one of those things in reach?
drmountaindeww 0
And lemme guess... The phone wasnt in reach?
digressions 13
Since several people have now asked if a phone was one of the things I had within reach: Well yes, it was...but even if had been able to reach someone who was available to come over and assist me, I would have had to get up, then go down a flight of stairs to unlock the front door and let them in, which would have been both painful and dangerous. Thank you to those who immediately assumed that I am an idiot, but I'm not. Love, OP.
oped01 8
What a freaking Drama Queen
MarkToast 19
im sure a phone was in reach. call him and ask him to get it