Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
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Top comments
sirpantselot 22
They seem to have spent an ironically long time looking at you...
Original_Outcast 23
No miss I wasn't staring at your breasts, I was making sure you weren't drowning!
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Comments (64)
perdix 31
Scan, stupid, scan! You've got one of the rare jobs where you get paid to look at girls in skimpy bathing suits, and you almost lose by making the rookie mistake of obvious staring! Scan the scene a little to the left and a little to the right of your target. Don't get caught making the dead-eyes stare while drooling and massaging your crotch.
Wizardo 34
Some people just want to watch the world drown :/
NameInvalid 9
Did you end up keeping your job?
rg350dx 29
Holy shit, idk if anyone has noticed this before but the work category icon looks exactly like slenderman.
Dave_Davington 35
The key to success here is to hide your erection. Trust me, I know.
mattuti 8
and this gives you the right to stare?
TVKill3r 15
It's called being a lifeguard. You have to pay attention to what people are doing to make sure they aren't breaking any rules and aren't dying.
HorrorFan13 2
Uhh yeah he has to watch them. Guess he should let them drown if he turned his head.
mattuti 8
There's still a difference between watching people to make sure they don't drown, and staring.
FlashBurn 13
Being a former lifeguard, and having loved the job, you would be surprised how many people complain about that. "Stop staring at my children!" Well, they shouldn't have been trying to sneakily break the rules and backflip into the pool off the edge and crack their skull open! Yeah, it happened to me. Polarized sunglasses are awesome for that, by the way.
redbandit9877 12
I know that feeling OP, except my job was bar tending at a strip club so I guess it's a little different. I don't blame you, girls in swimsuits are hot.
onorexveritas 24
either way, SOMEONE was looking too much
yepusuckarse 7
Wait until a parent yells at you for saving their drowning child. Um? What? Yep. It happens.