Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother warned me that if I ever have anal sex I will die. I'm 28. FML
Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML
Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Tell her you need "a nap" and to turn off auto-correct on your iPhone.
perdix 31
You should ask her how Dad gives it to her. That will make the last 39 minutes of your ride silent . . . or more disturbing than the Blue Waffle.
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Comments (141)
alex_cutie 0
must be really awkward... u shouldve just told her that you have heard of it and that's she should focuss on the road instead
MyChemicalLife_fml 0
She watched Dr. OZ!! Awkward...
monkeygirl92 0
Aww FYL OP. I hate talks like that. Ughh there so awkward.
fookyouu 0
your moms deffinitly took it in the ass mad times
mizzjade 0
haha funny, at least she's watching out for you :)
idaniboo 0
ummm. oh well? how is that awkward or suckish at all. you deserved it I guess. haahaha. don't get in the car with your awkward mother. (;
parya94 0
anal is fun
Ashleii_fml 0
agreed XD
Yaseeher 0
for ***** sake you 13 years of age ashleeii . how is it fün? your body hasn't even developed. you takin it up the ass can lead to death. before bullshiting again make sure you have people you know on FML. people will really make fun of you until your comments removed. seriosly I really need to consider how my bros mind works . he is 13. hope he doesn't turn into a attention seeking douche. OP dw parents will always think postivly off you.
Freeze_fml 17
#121 FTW. WTF is with the surge of kid *****?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
^ Agreed. Prostitots.
THeInSpEraTIOn4u 0
lol would u wanna have this conversation with ur mom.
alex_cutie 0
and you should know that the car is usually the place where parents ask those questions...duh. next time bring an iPod or pretend to sleep it works
danturn 0
...so...was she proposisioning you or what?
blankettt 0
What the hell is proposisioning?
ZombieBunnies 0
grammer poisoning?
Stevefett 0
Propositioning means asking if they want to do it. In other words was their mom asking them or offering to do that. and lol for that comment.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
^ It was mockery. But thanks for the definition-- I'm sure some of these commentors will find it handy.