Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
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Top comments
porcelainkisses 5
Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass!
GhettoXmuffin 7
I'd say eating cocks is more accurate
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Comments (208)
porcelainkisses 5
Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass!
AlexRen 21
He raised her up till then, it's her own choices she's fourteen
Eaglestrike117 29
She couldn't help it, she's a dumbass herself. Just look at that completely unnecessary last sentence in the FML.
iluvhobos 5
Maybe she has pica? But she's probably just thick.
JulieGoRawr 4
its The Holidays . She's Probably going to be eating her stocking. (:
JulieGoRawr 4
its The Holidays . She's Probably going to be eating her stocking. (:
JulieGoRawr 4
its The Holidays . She's Probably going to be eating her stocking. (:
JulieGoRawr 4
its The Holidays . She's Probably going to be eating her stocking. (:
efynsien 1
I heard of a dog that ate a rock and plugged his intestines:( he also ate a christmas stocking
lalaland05 0
Why do we need to know about that exactly?
HetaliaFreak 10
63- Cool story, bro. You tell that one at parties?
graham11 14
89- he sure does and he's the life of the party!! *copy and paste* (I wrote this exact same thing on another FML.. Slow clap for originality!!)
fymother 13
Hope you took her to the ER-- styrofoam is dangerous, inhaled or digested.
mirag 0
Maybe she is mentally challenged
alstbv12 13
Packing peanuts are usually made from starch these days...not too dangerous there...
alstbv12 13
Although now I see it says packing pellets so I don't know if there is a difference...
farhil 14
She'll probably start listening to bubble wrap.
julian24245 0
That's nothing to congratulate over. There are plenty of dumbasses nowadays. Nothing special.
shadystyle 6
she may have that eating disorder. some people eat washing powder
blondebrunette11 4
Shoot.. Those arent christmas candy...?
Alexisthebestest 16
They're pretty much cheetos without the calories & artificial flavoring. I think she's on to something here...
anonymous100000 17
uhh can't those hurt you? take her to a hospital. or not and let her suffer. either way FYL
GhettoXmuffin 7
I'd say eating cocks is more accurate
acpv19 9
Haha good one
zurisbloodyrose 0
No, silly. That's at sixteen.
StoryOfTheYear 15
47- Hence the question "What's NEXT?"
MrSexyPants 14
No, silly, that's at 12. Yeah, the people I know suck. Er, literally.
xleanne_aLly 23
Eating cocks and smoking rocks.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
66- That's perfect. Maybe coating her teeth in semen can temporarily cover up the discoloration from all that crack.
ThaBeasty01 5
and more natural !
bearnblue 0
Merry Cockmas!!!
bearnblue 0
Merry Cockmas!!!
bearnblue 0
Merry Cockmas!!!
nixter5 18
117, 118, 119 - Nice triple post there.
graham11 14
123- at first I thought that two different dumbasses copied the first comment. But then I realized it was all posted by the same person. *stupidity meter rises exponentially and explodes*
ppl2ppl 4
Dude you are 15, chill down there .:P
Osito2011 9
She could be pregnant already and had a craving for styrofoam pellets
okmankk 4
Is 12 muscles glasses?
chelsea3111996 0
140 How do you do it then? ; )
tweetypie 18
So no ones eating box?
kayfeffa 10
Ew
Avalanches 9
You can colour them orange and tell her that they're Cheetos!
kazter_boy 3
Then she'll ask OP how to spell "orange".
graham11 14
24- it probably will. Those things are shit!! Sorry that was harsh but I hate cherrios almost as much as Sandusky loves small children.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
3 - Cheetos already uses that trick on all its consumers.
graham11 14
(71) oh shit I meant to write "cheetos." I love Cheerios though.. They remind me of being a kid. Just a clarification :)
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Teens get dumber and dumber every year
michelleJ11 25
On the next episode of My Strange Addiction ....
hayleegirl 0
She sounds like quite a prize
Iheartfunny 1
No OP next she'll be (smoking) rocks
AdrianEC 15
It could have been worse, your daughter could have poured silica gel packets all over her fries, thinking it was salt.
bitchwhore 20
My friend got mad at her mom when she was 4 and tried to kill her by putting silica gel in her coffee but she didn't die :(
LaughinStock 16
^ All I can say to that is wtf, op your daughter is probably going to end up on that show where that chick eats the foam from the couch ( on A&E I think)
tiffy_mag 4
Wtf. Your friend tried to kill her mom WHEN SHE WAS FOUR????
graham11 14
55- She must be a troubled child. Four years old?! Seriously? Like ohh emm geee wat da ****?!? *continues talking like a 14 year old who thinks she's smart for eating "Christmas candy" *
EvilPotato 15
55 the sad face indicates that you're disappointed that she didn't die, I say that they were partners in crime.
ashtonkay 7
96 hahahaha omg, my exact assumption!
graham11 14
96- that's what I thought too.. Dammit, my friend's mom didn't die :'(
PinkiePiee 0
55- cool story bro.
michelleJ11 25
@68, I think it's called My Strange Addiction
Kazakuya 3
You must be the proudest dad in the world.
Avalanches 9
OP's female.
thebeanishere 8
Maybe you should use some of that duct tape in your picture and shut the **** up.
alexwarfield333 1
FAIL!!!!
flockz 20
that's not normal?
upyourzlolz 11
It's as normal as male-periods.
Torva_fml 16
Then I guess I'm just your average, Styrofoam eating, vaginal bleeding teenage boy.
ashleykay94 7
Haha lmfao party rock!!
GrandmaPearl 0
What the hell are you talking about?
graham11 14
Haha lmfao ohh emm geee smh like totally so eff-ing funny, gurl!!! (if I ever met anyone who actually talked like this, I'd instantly lose all hope for the human race)
upyourzlolz 11
She's not trying to say anything! She's trying to bring the nonsense comments from YouTube to to FML!
DontClickOnMe 28
Didn't she notice that they didn't taste right.... Well I guess not.
Avalanches 9
I don't think they have taste.
DontClickOnMe 28
Oh they do. I've tried them before. Haha just joking. You do make a valid point though.
jon120ukfan 2
She's probably a stoner and didn't even notice the taste or what she was eating.
Gringe 1
They r made of corn starch which we break down into sugars in our mouths so they probably tasted sweet...
every1luvsboners 11
You don't eat rocks, you smoke them. Who's the dumb-ass now?
CaptainPickles72 18
26- Those "rocks" you're talking about are Boners' kidney stones! And I know what you're thinking, yes, they do get you high. So high, in fact, that you see unicorns! Yes, Boners invented unicorns with his rocks. Lie, I do not!
ThatLooksSticky 16
I thought those packing pellets were made from elf semen.
ashtonkay 7
26 haha uhm... want to be friends?