Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother warned me that if I ever have anal sex I will die. I'm 28. FML
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML
Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
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Top comments
Lydmyers 9
I wouldn't be a baby about it... it's only awkward if you make it awkward. your mother is coming to you for advice, and also to normalise things that should be normalised. Give her the advice she is asking for.
ahabsfan 17
Your father is experiencing pain when receiving anal. Help the guy out with some advice.
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Comments (8)
bobsanction 18
Well, do you?
Lydmyers 9
I wouldn't be a baby about it... it's only awkward if you make it awkward. your mother is coming to you for advice, and also to normalise things that should be normalised. Give her the advice she is asking for.
TexasKitten79 6
Nobody wants to be informed of, let alone involved in, their parents' sex lives. Yes, it is awkward.
Lydmyers 9
And how would it be getting involved in your parent's sex life? see, you just made an innocent situation where someone is asking a family member for advice to something weird.
ahabsfan 17
Your father is experiencing pain when receiving anal. Help the guy out with some advice.
Nemesis_1148437476 9
Your Mom is trying to connect with you and doesn't know how to. Do yourself a favour and have a nice talk
TexasKitten79 6
While that is definitely awkward. I hope you're thankful they were accepting! To anyone other than the person this happened too... it's funny. lol. im sorry
Sarah Little Trudeau 2
lube, lots of lube! it's only awkward of you make it awkward. 🤷🏻♀️