Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room… where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, my brother thought it'd be hilarious to tease a group of Pokémon players. They thought it'd be hilarious to beat both our asses. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML
Today, I'm trying to study for my finals, but some local school is having an event nearby, and has decided to make life hell by playing "Magic In The Air" at full volume while some woman screams into a mic. I'm dying. The entire neighbourhood can hear their damn sports day. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
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Top comments
Theglc20 27
Good thing it want something like 'I love justin bieber'. They wouldnt have have been able to repeat without sobbing
ChenEighty 20
Way to copy a comment from 3 FMLs ago.
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Comments (63)
Theglc20 27
Good thing it want something like 'I love justin bieber'. They wouldnt have have been able to repeat without sobbing
FracturedMinds 21
Everyone is saying to send him back to Canada. But even we aren't that mean. The Canadians have been nothing but kind to us, they don't deserve that.
penguinhalo 21
Wrong, they also sent us nickleback.
Queensland 27
At least Nickelback is out of the picture now and don't prance around looking like a tiny fairy swag fag and get done for DUIs and speeding.
JMichael 26
45- some people think their music is terrible.
itsalanis 25
Well, ever since we lost that hockey game, USA versus Canada, in the Olympics, the wager was whomever loses keeps Beiber.
then000bster 16
Should not be drinking anything while reading fmls
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
Please deport him to his real home. Hell. Wait... How about the bottom of the ocean. Sharkeisha can beat the shit out of him there.
PurelyCanadian 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
They're going places. Probably not to college - but places.
ChenEighty 20
Way to copy a comment from 3 FMLs ago.
FracturedMinds 21
I was thinking it, I was just too lazy to call her out on it.
Emmiii_fml 18
Yeah.. This comment would have been funny if you actually made it up yourself...
airhead2015 18
#19, 3 F MLs ago? More like half a year ago... at least!
ChenEighty 20
No, 27, 3 FMLs ago. The one with the kid that made the dick out of play doh, comment 6
kaablam 17
This phrase wasn't even coined on fml, sorry guys.
PurelyCanadian 18
What #32 said .. I love how quickly everyone is to jump down my throat, though. :) Maybe it seemed so familiar because I recently read it on FML. Maybe that was the case. Don't know - don't care.
allie2590 31
Oh who cares? Seriously.
hashshim 23
You guys must be new to the Internet. That phrase has been used hundreds of times already, it was not made up 3 FMLs ago.
HanselF 7
makes me quite happy I have no brothers!
AUShano 15
Did you write any of it down on your notes? Because it would be rather unfortunate if you were to subconsciously remember and write one of the chants down for the actual test answers....
712sash 26
Your brother and his mates sound quite immature. Hope you do/did well in the test :)
BillMurray_fml 12
Oh come on. Just try saying dick nipples out loud without smiling!
Ashamed_Sister 60
You cannot win this game against your brother.
Stazza11 27
At least they were not annoying you :D
PurelyCanadian 18
That's exactly what they were doing.
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
I think the whole point of this FML was that they WERE annoying her. She was trying to study, and her brother and his friends were yelling "Dick nipples." I'd call that annoying.
thereal_BA 5
It's amazing how much sarcasm and joking is lost on the FML community
Raidriar 14
You can't make a bad comment then whine and say "it's sarcasm!!"
warsun 27
Hmmmmmm is it weird that the first thing I saw in this FML was the words dick nipples?
leonchen7498 12
because its written in caps maybe?
Michael903 18
It sucks that you were trying to study but it sounds like they were having a good time! I hope you were able to study well.....ear plugs?
edward80 18
Queef ! :D
FracturedMinds 21
Testicals.
rgearon 8
*testicles
FracturedMinds 21
Thanks for the correction. It's really early. Still, not sure how I let that typo get by.