Today, I've been sleeping with my drug dealer from high school who I still buy pot from for the past week. He made me go down on him a few days ago and he smelled funny but I didn't say anything. Today, he told me he only showers 2-3 times a month and he thinks he's a genius for it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the reason why the guy I took home from the bar seemed to understand everything about me instantly was because he was my ex's secret drug dealer. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking - ankle bracelet and all. Worst part? I really liked it. FML
Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML
Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today." I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
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Top comments
Lwint76 10
I wanna know how some one makes you go down on them... you sucked stank balls because you wanted to not because he made you!
sunshine1421 14
might be time to evaluate your habit or at least maybe consider a new drug of choice... or another idea get a better job so you can afford your habit and not have to blow your dirty ass drug dealer as payment
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Comments (37)
superboredd 21
This FML was a rollercoaster from start to finish
JudgeComrade 17
A genius for a genius.
CelesteGomes 25
I've been watching Breaking Bad lately, and this FML just reminded me of Jesse Pinkman XD
born_hustla 26
No offense but TF is wrong with you? Lol
macguy4321 14
You could move to a state where recreational pot is legal. Then you wouldn't have to suck stank balls
Elisabetha Aarron 18
People saying don't judge their life choices need to release what site they are on. This site is made for judging what other people post on here!