Today, I've been sleeping with my drug dealer from high school who I still buy pot from for the past week. He made me go down on him a few days ago and he smelled funny but I didn't say anything. Today, he told me he only showers 2-3 times a month and he thinks he's a genius for it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the reason why the guy I took home from the bar seemed to understand everything about me instantly was because he was my ex's secret drug dealer. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking - ankle bracelet and all. Worst part? I really liked it. FML
Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML
Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today." I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Lwint76 10
I wanna know how some one makes you go down on them... you sucked stank balls because you wanted to not because he made you!
sunshine1421 14
might be time to evaluate your habit or at least maybe consider a new drug of choice... or another idea get a better job so you can afford your habit and not have to blow your dirty ass drug dealer as payment
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (37)
interesting33 37
Hi OP. Please know that you deserve and are worth so much more than this. No one should ever make or pressure you to do something sexually that you do not enthusiastically want to do and he should not have done that. Making someone perform oral sex is rape. I feel a lot of comments on here are very judgemental. please do get support to get out of that relationship with him, and please get off weed. if you are scared or worried please call the police or there are helplines to stop sexual exploitation, abuse etc and a gang activity.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Her own life choices made her perform a sexual act on her drug dealer because this was the only way to get what she wanted. It definitely was neither rape nor any other form of sexual exploitation. Just an exchange of sex for drugs. OP might deserve more if she is going to make a few changes in her life.
interesting33 37
it was the use of the word 'made' that meant I thought that. we all are assuming a lot about OP's relationship with her dealer and what happened because FML is not long enough to give enough detail. If it wasn't the case that OP was forced, then they can ignore what I said. But if it was, in my country that is rape.
RichardPencil 32
For that, I hope you get a substantial discount on your weed purchase, at least 10, maybe 15% off! You gotta know how to drive a hard bargain!
Evilsummerboy 7
You sucks.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Yeah, I can't say YDI it enough. You're doing drugs, banging your drug dealer (and apparently only to get pot from the sounds of it), and going down on him because he "made" you. How exactly did he make you? Did he threaten to not sell you drugs anymore? Did he threaten to rat you out for doing drugs (in which case you could rat him out for selling them)? Just...wow, use your head for something besides an ear-spacer.
raven_of_azarath 35
There are many ways to make someone do something they don't want to do, and the threat of blackmail is just one of them.
Lobby_Bee 18
Ironic how his penis is the cleanest body part on him now.
Ashamed_Sister 60
This reminds me of "Coming to America" with Eddie Murphy when the girl in the bath says "The royal penis is clean, your highness."
nathann23 0
nobody makes you do anything love
marysue354 10
Well, aren't your standards high...
alvarny 17
if you're lucky, he showered yesterday.
zieelona 21
Disgusting!
engineerosaurus 26
There are so many things wrong with this scenario.