Today, I've been sleeping with my drug dealer from high school who I still buy pot from for the past week. He made me go down on him a few days ago and he smelled funny but I didn't say anything. Today, he told me he only showers 2-3 times a month and he thinks he's a genius for it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the reason why the guy I took home from the bar seemed to understand everything about me instantly was because he was my ex's secret drug dealer. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking - ankle bracelet and all. Worst part? I really liked it. FML
Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML
Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today." I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
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Top comments
Lwint76 10
I wanna know how some one makes you go down on them... you sucked stank balls because you wanted to not because he made you!
sunshine1421 14
might be time to evaluate your habit or at least maybe consider a new drug of choice... or another idea get a better job so you can afford your habit and not have to blow your dirty ass drug dealer as payment
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Comments (37)
thatslifeiguess7 16
First time I've heard of anyone blowing someone for pot! Bonus if your a straight male! Nasty
Cali 57
I don't think that's what happened though. OP said that they sleep with him and "buy pot" from him. Sketchy, but not prostitution!
Bloodknight 22
Bish whet...!?!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Maybe it's time to reevaluate your life and seek help, it's not too late.
Mungolikecandy 19
The way you say "made me" is rather worrying especially as he is your drug dealer. It may be time to realise you have hit a low in life, you appear to be putting yourself in a dangerous situation and you may want to start looking for a way forward.
tonyfan00 38
You act like drug dealers have a clear state-of-mind...most drug dealers are a little off. YDI.
Razell 13
.... *puts down the Internet* *Backs away slowly*
1gullible_bugger 34
Disgusting!
anyoldnamewilldo 23
If you haven't realized it before now, this should be the moment that you re-evaluate your life choices.
Ciara Koch 22
You people are so judgmental first of all you have no idea the situation at all he could have forced her you don't know just because she's posting about it doesn't mean it wasn't rape it doesn't mean it was she could have been speaking casually she could have no idea how to respond to it and she never said she was doing it for drugs that is your assumption and if she is she needs help it doesn't mean she's a bad person your a bad person for your ignorance when I was raped i was meant with the same kind of logic Bc I had a drug problem at the time and I wasn't a virgin they called the case un prosecutable even though there were bruises and DNA evidence and he was 35 and I was 17 I'm so sick of this kind of bullshit what if she was your sister or daughter grow up
Razell 13
She's paying for her week with sexual favors. That is low, low class. And if she were my daughter or sister? I'd smack her upside the head for being such a dumbass.
Ashamed_Sister 60
She had sex with him and complained about his lack of hygiene. If she were raped she barely would have mentioned the hygiene part, so no, nothing in this story suggests anything near rape. Your own experience cannot be compared to this FML.
Flutter87 5
? They need to add a vomiting/nauseated reaction emoji!!!