Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
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Top comments
Gixie 25
Shakin your butt butt probably isn't going to help with your BO.
Omfgitsmia 15
Almost sounds like my mom these days. Maybe shower at a friends?
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Comments (150)
Evolving_Squid 15
There's not much info in this one, but I went with YDI on it. Some years ago, my early-20's brother-in-law lived with us. He took 3 showers a day, draining the hot water tank each time. On weekends there were usually "friends" over, and they took showers too. All in, we puzzled out that 60-70% of our water bill was supporting him. You had to get up and shower before him, wait for hours, or shower army-style with cold water. That was a real pain during the work week. We asked him to pay the bill, he claimed he didn't have the cash and couldn't afford it. He couldn't afford to contribute to food, or gas, or electricity, or shoveling the driveway either. He always had money for parties though. Ultimately, we threw his arse out (over other things, but this was a part), and saw our bill drop, well, 70%. So, really, I'm going to run with the parents being justified on this one.
synsam 4
it annoys me how much people seem to want to be 'insane' or 'weird' etcetera. like previously stated if you were really insane chances are not only you, but everyone around you wouldn't like it.
mcm_3 16
#10, to the degree of 'Grammar Nazi'
kernelkat 16
I feel your pain. Growing up we had to shower like the navy personnel and couldn't run the water for more than 60 seconds at a time. My dad would stand outside the bathroom door timing us and beat on the bathroom door when time was up. Hopefully this is just a passing obsession with them and they'll lose interest in it soon.
5destroyer35 20
#110 Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time.
hardtopick 8
have you tried deodorant?
fantasyworld 39
Deodorant is not enough.
5destroyer35 20
At least their sense of smell.
ViviMage 40
I have a gym at work and can shower there. I would work out other ways to save water. Like "yellow mello", before I put up with no showering. If you can smell your funk, everyone else could days ago! Also, buy dry shampoo sprays. They work. You can also get cleaning wipes meant for people invalid and can't shower from surgery. It's like a big diaper wipe you can microwave.
HungerGames95 13
Shower at a friends house?
Villy23 12
Baby wipes are your best friend at that point, OP.