Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
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Top comments
Gixie 25
Shakin your butt butt probably isn't going to help with your BO.
Omfgitsmia 15
Almost sounds like my mom these days. Maybe shower at a friends?
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Comments (150)
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
#27 Sorry about the similar comment. I didn't see your comment until after I sent mine and the edit time ran out. But you took the words right out of my mouth. I thought maybe I was a little insane because I couldn't find that word anywhere! Glad to know it wasn't just me. :)
bellles 18
I'm sorry OP, if you have a gym membership you can take a shower there? If not that sucks, just go to a friends house, I guess.
Zebediabolical 45
Take a Navy shower. Turn on the water to get wet, turn it off. Lather up and get clean, then turn it on to rinse off again. You don't need to stand under the spray for 10 minutes to get clean.
sammieshortcake 15
That comment was literally a waste of my time.
sammieshortcake 15
To previous commented-As a human, you flaunting your major is the most useless thing ever. Boom roasted.
Xotoolyxo 16
Then ask them more often if you can shower, or try showering when they leave the houss
Etweens96 25
why not speak to your parents about getting well water? it may sound like a pain but the truth is, it's a good way to save money! My family and I haven't payed a water bill in almost 16 years!
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
#50 Not everyone has access to well water. If they did, almost everyone would use it because they wouldn't have a water bill anymore. Which would put the water company out of business so that wouldn't happen. :)
blackonblight 33
Well water has it's own issues, one being you may not pay a water bill but it takes electricity to power the well, plus you have to deal with salt and such. Lugging those 40lb bags around every couple months was not fun for a tiny string bean like me.
Svetlana22 8
Shower at the gym or school gym.
stfudonnie 10
just swet it out at your parents so they can smell the fruits of their decision.
Eevee11 6
Get a gym membership they have showers there