Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
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Top comments
Gixie 25
Shakin your butt butt probably isn't going to help with your BO.
Omfgitsmia 15
Almost sounds like my mom these days. Maybe shower at a friends?
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Comments (150)
XSimpleDesignX 18
#47 I wouldn't say "useless." I would trust someone that is studying psychology to know more about sanity than some other random person on the street. More like annoying, just like your comments.
aut5413 10
You could Mexican bath.
Powerage66 16
I understand the situation OP. Because of various surgeries, I've had to do the same thing. But I think this is worse. Sorry for your parents.
DarkMarkInTheSky 9
I find it amusing no one understands that #10's comment wasn't in response to a 'literally' comment, but rather to the comment before about everyone being insane to a degree.
eksyneet 23
#29, insane = mentally ill. schizophrenic, bipolar, clinically depressed. everyone is quirky within healthy boundaries, even weird at times, but it definitely can't be said that 'everyone is insane'.
drowningfishy 7
Hahaha, if they're letting you get that smelly think about the dishes. Well could be worse they could start denying you the right to do laundry when you need. SO look on the bright side of things.
KasiaLilith 13
I don't know which is worse, the resources to which you had to force yourself or living with two adults, who do not seem to worry about their BO nearly as much as you do..
pdp_fml 21
Have you tried to shower like the Navy personnel have to? They have to get wet and then turn off the water, soap up from head to toe, use shampoo at the same time and then rinse off and you are finished except for the towel to dry with.
Sports_guy3 28
Everyone is insane in their own way. That's like saying everyone's unique in the own way.
Sports_guy3 28
I ran out of edit time. ^That's the definition, but it's not like anyone uses it anymore.