Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
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Top comments
Gixie 25
Shakin your butt butt probably isn't going to help with your BO.
Omfgitsmia 15
Almost sounds like my mom these days. Maybe shower at a friends?
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Comments (150)
weveallbeenthere 30
I can almost understand the parents. I have 3 teens who constantly use up 60 gallons of hot water a night. I thought about putting a water timer on so they only get 8-10 minutes each.
fergnasty 14
#17 and #110 thank you for proving insanity by wasting 50k+ on an udderly useless major. Unless you get a phd get used to the phrase "welcome to (McDonald's/ Walmart/ Target/ Burger King) how can I help you?"
eksyneet 23
#136, i'm getting a phd. but, thankfully, free university education exists in my country.
MarineWife3112 5
I lived with a family that had to do this because they didn't use city water. So I started using the showers at the Gym I had membership to. It got me working out and I was squeaky clean everyday.
sanecatlady 13
People are gonna freak, but I only shower or bathe every second day. I don't get dirty and smelly easily and my skin and hair don't dry out as much during the winter. Unlike normal women I really cannot stand to slather on all those gunky, smelly moisturizing lotions that make my skin feel really nasty.
blackonblight 33
I do the same. A washcloth dipped in warm water to clean off the areas that get sweaty is all I really need most days, I shower based on when my hair starts to seem a bit oily. A couple times a week. So long as you can get underarms, back of knees, and groin, you tend to be fine if you aren't someone who does dirty work. That's like two cups of water.
megcarpy 19
Ew
Painterlily 8
Just stop showering for a few days. Then spend a day in close proximity to them so they get the full effect of your "atmosphere." I'm sure they will get the message and change their tune real quick.
Kuramasan_fml 12
I would ignore them and express concern about their life choices.
sydsam20 2
wb using a local gyms shower...
DAL1010 4
My father use to turn the hot water off after 5 minutes, if we wanted to stay in the shower it was gonna be a cold one.