Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
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Top comments
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
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Comments (125)
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
nazooer 11
what the hell? how did this FML even get on here? Its a total YDI!!! god its like he's blaming it on the year old for having a birthday party
sublime93 0
Considering it was a 4 year old's party, it was early in the day. So you totally deserve it. I mean cmon drinking pissing in a park in the day? Couldn't you hear the noise from the party?
A83_fml 18
FYL dude.. America's law system is F'ed anyway.. exposing yourself to a minor... Idiots. Once again: FYL
Occam 0
#20, that's the first thing I thought of, too. Ridiculous.
tyhillman 0
#32 Yes it is. They won't even let us smoke weed here.
whatsgoingon6 0
in my state you would be a sex offender for doing that lol
jackkerouc9 0
YDI and this would happen in Texas.
Duckasaurus 0
I hate people who think Texas is as stereotypical as it is. I mean, it really is, but here and Houston and more south it gets away from the stereotypical Texas and more like anywhere else.
jackkerouc9 0
most places are as they are stereotyped. Case and point. Mass is full of liberal assholes that cannot drive.
lonewolf999 1
You totally deserve it, OP.
Godless50 0
u sir are an idiot, indeed exposing yourself to a minor, thats what its called when you pull your dick out in front of a kid, wether its sexual or not
skiz_fml 0
FYL Man. I HATE THESE ******* 4 YEAR OLDS. THEY RUIN EVERYTHING. **** EM. **** EM ALL!
Ashley121645 0
go #140!! lol dumb little kids mind ur own buisness dont scream and say mommy theres a man showing his penis ooo they need to stfu!! annoying brats **** em all.
redmonkey224539 9
You are a ******* idiot
cryssycakesx3 23
case IN* point
end_game 0
I agree with #1.YDI
KrystleLynn 0
That's called alcoholism, and it needs to stop. Haha. F the 4 year olds life. "Today, I was having a birthday party. Then, some drunken douche came over and pissed on a tree in front of all of my friends and their parents. FML."
_Natasha_ 0
YDI. Douchebag.
chameleon724 8
Normally FMLs are about something happening that WASN'T completely your own fault....
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
Tubasaurus 0
That's what I was thinking.
k2cool_87 0
you deserve it....big time
OHIOxRAIN 0
Good one! Do u think before u do anything? DA
enders98 0
fifteenth!
Kayia_fml 0
Good Job now you scared a little girl
oh_dee 0
LOL drinking in broad daylight in a park...that's just sad.
jonnymohio 2
Kids grow up so fast these days. And you just helped a four-year old see a grown man's pee pee. That's one milestone accomplished.
theblazian 0
"You ever been in a cockpit before?" "No sir, I've never been up in a plane before." "You ever seen a grown man naked?"
caticaticati 3
Airplane FTW!
theblazian 0
In before the "come on people! Everyone has gotten drunk in a park and exposed themselves to a minor atleast once!" comment. Drinking at the park, I can understand because I have done at so at beaches. Getting piss drunk enough that peeing in said public place where people can apparently see you quite clearly is the major no no. In fact I'm also going to add that peeing in a public place in BROAD ****** DAYLIGHT (don't know many parents that will throw their 4 year old a birthday party outdoors at night) is also a seriously bad move in of itself.