Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. It includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I was gentrified out of my rent-controlled San Francisco apartment on June 1st by speculators, which I could only afford because of the rent control, I haven’t been able to find a new place yet. I've been living in hotels off a small settlement, but money ran out last week so now I’m on the streets. FML
Today, I showed up for my first shift in my new night job; I now work at an apartment complex during the day and at a gas station at night. It turns out that our biggest problem tenant in the former happens to be my boss in the latter. FML
Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML
Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML
Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML
Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML
Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
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Top comments
obnum 19
I thought it sounded strange that they were offering all that in an apartment...
hunny797 5
You will be eligible for that place sometime later in your life
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Comments (51)
kenna_babe 4
Haha that would be a dream though :) at least there are perks to getting old
perdix 31
Lots of old people prefer to die at home. I'm going into assisted living the first day I'm eligible. Even if I'm perfectly healthy, why wouldn't I want some assistance with boring chores?
juliaannw 11
65 and that place is alll yours!
perdix 31
#27, I think I've seen some that will let you in at 55. That's a whole extra decade of a life worth living! **** grocery shopping, **** laundry!!!
juliaannw 11
Get to piss in your bed and not have to clean it up! Ahhh what a life!
perdix 31
#31, hell, yeah! Now, when that happens, I have to go buy a new bed and it's getting expensive!
Imhere4fml 24
Soon....
Enslaved 38
Start saving up. Those type of places-- with all those amenities are far from cheap!
outoftown 27
That, and buying long-term care insurance to help cover the hefty costs.
akiahara 14
You could live in a hotel if you don't want to take care of your home.
JFever 6
Maybe you should quit being a lazy turd and put your big boy/girl pants on and do all that stuff for yourself.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Maybe the OP already does 'Do all that stuff' for themselves. Maybe they are feeling a little burnt out from working or going to school all the time? Who knows, but I can see why all of those perks would be enticing for anybody at any age wether they work or not.
vbmg152 19
Hey! Us old folks deserve the best. We've done our time taking care of others!
akiahara 14
I always thought senior communities wounded fantastic because children are verboten. No one can move fast enough to go clunking across your ceiling at all hours.
KociaQ 30
... YDI for being simply lazy. If you'd be disabled I could understand that. Being a senior, often people can't take care of them. But I assume you're young or middle age at best... so YDI, lazy...