Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
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Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
Does he have potholders or oven mits? If he does and just doesn't use them, he's stupid. If he doesn't have them, he's still stupid. Who does that?
olpally 33
You can't fix stupid. My god... Don't breed with him.
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Comments (158)
kasfire 16
no oven mitts? ouch! because it certainly doesn't sound like he forgot to use them. well at least he was nice enough to go through pain to make you food.... but maybe takeout next time
Amy78_fml 11
wow, that made me laugh. I think you need a new boyfriend.
eksyneet 23
seriously? you'd dump a guy for not using oven mits? no mystery in where do the "constantly single, constantly whining" facebook girls come from.
kyu_Q 19
I agree#185. How many guys offer to cook for their girlfriends. Sure it was not the best 'meal' but at least he is thoughtful. And a simple, " Babe, oven mitts" would fix that issue.
Colecto_fml 26
The issue is not lack of oven mitts, but the unfathomable stupidity behind it
jameen 11
I now know why he hates that part...
alullaby 21
He's not exactly smart, but at least he's sweet.
jem970 19
This goes beyond that... this guy is a full on idiot.
cb1002630 11
It's the thought that counts, I guess. Or thoughtlessness. Both work in this situation.
whatthefreshhell 15
My 23 year old brother does the same, but he doesn't scream. Some guys just never grow up (neither do done girls)
GrinchFu1 27
Um... You're only in 2 weeks. It's not too late to bail on this one. He's either extremely funny or extremely stupid. You gotta figure out if you wanna hang out long enough to figure out which one he is! Good luck m/
Imhere4fml 24
I'm sure he's just trying to impress you... In some way.
crackpotL 33
Sounds like that gene pool needs some bleach.
ViviMage 40
I use a fork to stab the pizza and drag it onto the cardboard or a plate!
Obey_StudBoii 23
Like a boss!
sniken 14
Same thing works barehanded if there's crust.