Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
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Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
Does he have potholders or oven mits? If he does and just doesn't use them, he's stupid. If he doesn't have them, he's still stupid. Who does that?
olpally 33
You can't fix stupid. My god... Don't breed with him.
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Comments (158)
Fluffydemise 18
Screaming? It's only a pizza for crying out loud. I developed my asbestos fingers long ago, sounds like your man needs to spend more time in the kitchen, not less. I voted your life sucks, if only because no one should have to listen to a 24 year old man screaming that he, excuse me while I paraphrase, 'got an owwwie'
Annies 20
Not everyone can develop a pain tolerance. I was beat up on a daily basis for 12 years and my pain tolerance is still about the same as a newborn’s.
chocofudges94 8
I do hope that by "I hate this part" he was referring to the general act of pulling food out of the oven and not the act of doing so with his bare hands...cause if he's done this before...
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Why would he hate the act of pulling food out of the oven if he wasn't an idiot who did it with his bare hands on a regular basis? If not for that I would think pulling out the food when it's done would be one of the best parts because it means you get to eat it soon.
chocofudges94 8
Maybe it's the fear aspect of potentially burning your hand. Some people get anxious being so close to such extreme heat.
Leprekhaun 14
Pain is weakness leaving the body!
Rob2342 9
Thats when you know it is time to move on.
Kuramasan_fml 12
I dunno. I think it's cute if your BF is a little stupid sometimes. ^_^
ptoka 20
There's a difference between a little stupid and full on idiocy
Pstraka6 20
Well you shouldn't expect much when he says he's "cooking" you dinner and proceeds to throw a frozen pizza in the oven
onorexveritas 24
that's hilarious ....i'm sorry op
JDCH_99 10
Run. Run like hell before he slips one past the goalie!
MrConcise 35
He was willing to burn himself to cook for you. Much more romantic than flowers, steak, lobster, a box of chocolates...Nah, this scenario isn't getting any better. I give up.
SWC_Penguin 17
It's not delivery. It's DiGior-AGGHHHHHHHHHH!
rg350dx 29
DiGiornOOOOOOOHHHH SWEET BABY JESUS THAT'S HOT!!!
DasHaas 9
Looks like you found yourself a keeper...