Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
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Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
Does he have potholders or oven mits? If he does and just doesn't use them, he's stupid. If he doesn't have them, he's still stupid. Who does that?
olpally 33
You can't fix stupid. My god... Don't breed with him.
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Comments (158)
ophel1a 7
dumb and sweet: if only he was a golden retriever.
martinfml 8
Men aren't into cooking, and maybe he forgot to put kitchen-gloves before he reached for the pizza.
Sinkhole 26
What a way to generalize what men like or don't like. Also... /maybe/ he forgot to put kitchen gloves on? You don't say!
Ameel_fml 19
Tell that to my dad. ...and every male chef ever.
kemic 7
I'm sorry, do you not know what a barbecue is? Maybe you should spend more time around real men, #46.
Wizzlbang 10
Gordon Ramsay.
byron17 26
Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver, Heston Blumenthal, the river cottage guy and all those people on the food network...!!!!!
jess1987 17
my 27 year old sister can't cook... the day I got home from the hospital from having my son she messed up hamburger helper.. the dog wouldn't even eat it.
perdix 31
And this is how he manipulates you into doing all the cooking from now on.
kurk626 11
wow. i never even thought of that....i know what I'm going to be doing now! lol
etchsanity1 11
Good point Per but why have you let the women in on the secret plan ... Breach of the bro code lol
perdix 31
#66, we have to give them a break, man, ever since we blew the lid off the sex thing. Back in the day, guys had to suck up to women to get sex because we liked it and they made like it was a chore for them. Now we know they like it at least as much as us, and probably more. The whole system of bribing and begging became obsolete.
angelofmusic113 9
Hey, if he went through that for you, I guess he's kind of sweet. Stupid but sweet...
acharet 4
At least he took it out of the packaging... Could have been much worse!!!
vwbug63 8
For your 1 month get him a oven glove.
lolita88_fml 27
Wonder how he strains pasta.. I can imagine him shoving his hand in to pull it out of the water..
Jacksparrow72 21
Buy him some. oven mits
jakeydudey 13
That wasn't a scream, that was his way cry. He's the overly manly man.