Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
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Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
Does he have potholders or oven mits? If he does and just doesn't use them, he's stupid. If he doesn't have them, he's still stupid. Who does that?
olpally 33
You can't fix stupid. My god... Don't breed with him.
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Comments (158)
Spark_Slicker 19
This reminds me of what my grandpa tried to do a little while ago. I was making french bread pizza in the toaster oven and I went into my room as it cooked. Then I come out of the room and go into the kitchen to find my grandpa trying to take it out with his bare hands. I told him I was cooking it and apparently he thought since no one was actually IN the kitchen that someone had forgotten it and it would overheat or something. Even though it has a timer that you set it to and it will shut off the oven once the timer goes off and everyone else has put something in the oven and left the kitchen lots of times. But my gramps is old and a little bit crazy, what's your boyfriends excuse?
jellydoughnut41 7
nobody cares!!!!!
Spark_Slicker 19
I wonder why you took the time to reply to me if you truly didn't care?
tywings40 4
maybe if you were in the kitcgen cooking he wouldnt need to be burning his gands like that...
angelitared 27
Not the sharpest knife in the kitchen.
Polynomial 28
Your boyfriend is an idiot. On the other hand, maybe you could have a fun time together, teaching him how to cook?
AlexiAwesome 10
Well, love is painful.
still_guns 16
Wow is he seriously that dumb that he can't use oven gloves?
jellydoughnut41 7
challenge accepted!!
jlynpa 10
I once dated a dummy who once asked "do you think more people would call me... If I had a phone???" Just maybe.... Just maybe
Rahii_nami 10
he is a nice guy...... :)
maddieness 2
This is honestly one of the best fmls I've ever read