Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I'd been crushing on for a little while and I were talking about autism. Some of the last words she said were "I try to not find autistic people so fucking annoying, but I can't help it. But can you blame me?” I'm autistic. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML
Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Today, I was talking to a guy I met on a dating site, and he asked if we could meet up and what we should do. When I suggested ice-skating he told me he was in a wheelchair, so I said we could go for a walk instead. I realised my mistake the moment I sent the message. FML
Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML
Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to meet my family. When I told him I had an autistic brother before he came in, he immediately broke up with me because he claimed autism is another word for overprotective. I've been dating an idiot. FML
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Top comments
Dalliance 4
Dodged a bullet.
omfg_creepers 8
What a bitch *****. I hope she falls off here bike and gets small rocks stuck in her knee and cries.
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Comments (293)
Dalliance 4
Dodged a bullet.
enonymous 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Too soon dude. Never start a date with that. Listen, nod, pay the check and hope to get some action at the end of the night
syfool 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Enonymous is right...You dont say that kind of stuff on a first date son.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Are you forgetting enonymous is hilarious? I'm pretty sure he was joking. Just saying...
Notimetobleed 14
You always have to tell her first that you killed Osama Bin Laden, and then how you beat up Superman with a broken arm, then tell her the bad news.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I was actually hoping it would cause a chain of comments copying the format of yours xD. I know what you meant :P. Apparently it didn't work.
TheRealHouse 7
Are you forgetting planned combos never work?
TobyWhiskers 0
I agree with Dalliance (#1). If she can't deal with something like that, she isn't worth it. I know how you feel. I have Aspergers syndrome, which is a mild form of Autism. I'm always picked on for it and, at 17 years of age, have never had a boyfriend.
belkinbra 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Aspergers is not real. If there was a social development disease why would they name it "ass burgers" thats just ....mean.
puppy23 3
You're going to find a great guy!
6joe9 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Retard retard retard !
Paper4Wings 4
It actually is real. If you don't know your facts don't say things like that.
TheWindowLicker 13
127- He or she was quoting south park...so they weren't being serious. However it is a bad thing to joke around about >_>.
dre_bro11 12
Wow. There are some real heartless f*cks on this website. People are admitting that they have something wrong with them, an you just go along and call them retards? I'd love to see what you say if it was you or someone you knew in that case.
washingtongirl 8
111- Did we go to high school together? You sound a lot like the kid I gave a knuckle sandwich to, after making fun of my little brother's speech disability. Looks like you haven't changed one bit. Sorry you're still such an asshole.
abz_1995 6
just because in english its ass burgers doenst mean its ass burgers in any other language in dutch is apsergers pronounced, ass burgers
tona01 16
What troubles me, id that nobody pointed out that autism is nothing like down's syndrome. Autists tend to be more intelligent than the average human being. The only "retardation" would be maybe the social underdevelopment, which OP clearly got over.
fmlwinnn 0
Oh my god, Do you people know anything? Autism isn't a mental disorder, it's a whole spectrum of things. The reason why they're different is because their brain develops too fast during childhood and eventually wires differently than a normal brain. They don't have the higher-level thinking skills like logic, reason, or reading comprehension, which is why they have trouble in those areas. They are very creative and tend to be right-brained. They also have trouble with their social skills. Asperger's is a mild form of autism, and those people tend to be very intelligent. My sister is autistic. She's not retarded.
subbullet 7
you... are a dumbass.
tona01 16
151 so like i said, nothing like retardation.
veryhighsleepygu 7
And ppl said op is the retard
fanceh 10
The outright stupidity of people amazes me sometimes.
tona01 16
Ohh and 151 the brain capabilities of an autist depend on what type of autism they have. Maybe your sister has troubles in those areas but an autist savant normally doesn't. Most savants have an IQ of a genius, which would be ( i'm not sure) higher than 150. So maybe you should do more research, because every form of autism is very different.
ReynshineCutting 10
Temple Grandin anyone? She's one of the most brilliant people I've ever met and she's autistic. She also singlehandedly changed the way slaughterhouses across America operate and invented a new, more humane conveyor system for cattle in the slaughterhouses. I've had the pleasure to meet her and have her lecture in one of my classes since she's a professor at my university and she's an absolute genius.
Jammy01jams 2
Should've said "Me neither! You ******* retard! Have fun paying the check." slap her on the shoulder and leave. Smile an walk away.
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
As said on South Park.
fuckyalol 0
I have assburgers 2 am I'm fine. My IQ is 145 and I'm under 14
nalia18 8
Was that part of a disability?? And i have friends who r autistic... Doesnt mean ur a retard.
Cshoc16 0
Ha 70 I like how in your bio you say your pic is sexy. Lol since when is kneeboarding sexy? Grow a pair of legs and wakeboard
tjv3 10
you dont need someone like that anyway
ejjamael 5
my cousin who is autism is very smart and no where near retarded! now myself I have a disabilities which I'm profoundly deaf, but that don't make me retarded either. honestly you dodge a bullet since she is stupid and retarded!
choirnerd9 0
Yeah, I've been going to school with a guy with autism for years. Since first grade, he has been violent and talked kinda weird, but he hasn't had one of those outbursts in a long time. Now he's a genius, only in eighth grade.
Jammy01jams 2
274 - no offence but I'm pretty Sure being deaf isn't your only disability. Unless it is due to a disability you Gould really learn how to type a coherent sentence.
pinkdragonfly 9
Amen!
deannabonney 0
299, don't act like you know shit... 274 probably only has deafness as a disablility. I have severe hearing loss also. 299 allow me to educate you, because obviously you are a dumbass. asl sentences are way different than spoken english and it's hard to learn what you can't hear. Asswipe.
ilovemyjohnnyboy 0
115- I'm sorry people are such ass nugets! U will find someone so perfect that everyone who looked at u funny or made a rude comment will look at u now and ask themselves " why am I such an ass?" I'm sorry...
Jammy01jams 2
313 - you have much to learn my young padawan. Though the mask of the Internet hides me, I am deaf. Do I fail miserably at typing pulchritudinous sentences that fill the mind with joyous knowledge? How about you make like a tere an get out of here.
Sonalis 9
People who are deaf write like that. My sign language interpreter friend said that it's something to do with the language itself.
bootyful86 7
You're such an idiot, criticising others when you can't even spell properly yourself.
AllThatHit 7
well that was rude
sydneylol 7
Nice taste in girls Op.
RainbowHeadache 2
It was extremely rude. If she hadn't noticed he was autistic before he told her then it shouldn't have been a big deal since it's obviously not very noticeable. Even if it was she had no right to call him a retard. She's just a ****.
rattusrattus 19
Please do not insult *****. At least you found out she was rude, judgemental, rude and unpleasant BEFORE you got too deeply attached, OP.
HomeAl0ne 20
I'll say it was rude. I hope OP didn't give her the 1/10th scale model of the giraffe he was carefully crafting out of toothpicks at the dinner table.
yupitssoph 18
The ignorance of some people is really astounding.
TMUSEk 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
exactly what i was thinking. wow.
IamMe95 5
Asshole.
specialneeds 0
Shit face
fredlax9 7
Ur an asshole
cptmorgan6 8
I try to avoid being serious on this site by all means, but I seriously hope you were referring to a previous comment, and not the FML.
fuckyalol 0
**** YOU!!! (I am mildly autistic 2)
twoitytwoitose 1
Guys they're referring to the above comments.
hannahcorrine 0
Seriously guys? I don't thing 2 was talking about the FML...don't jump on him/her so fast
alstbv12 13
Wow. What a bitch!
Dudelike89 8
I wish I was as perfect as her....
fastbunny 0
I'll love u i love every one exept the frech
maenaze18 8
insensitive shallow bitch. good thing she showed her true colors early
rudegirlmania 10
Exactly. Hopefully OP doesn't give up on women because of her...not all of us are that stupid.
Calivale 7
At least ya know she's the retard in reality.
omfg_creepers 8
What a bitch *****. I hope she falls off here bike and gets small rocks stuck in her knee and cries.
alstbv12 13
Oddly specific. I like it.
killtin 2
Well that happened to me once except my elbow and I had to dig the rock our with tweasers
omfg_creepers 8
That happened to me once but i didnt get all the rocks out :(
omfg_creepers 8
She blows chodes
Isoldael 27
Happened to me once, except they got stuck in my forehead :s. But yes, I'd say the girl deserves something like that.
FiremanMike 0
Because what bitch isn't a ***** ?
bitchwhore 20
You called?
omfg_creepers 8
Rofl
Mahkymahk 0
I HATE when that happens
Mahkymahk 0
I HATE when that happens
J_1182 2
I hope she dies.
nick3600 22
Oh wow
HarryBoles 13
I hope she gets sharp rocks stuck in her ******
ibreezy 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yup, youre definitely a retard for saying that
tannerparker16 0
What a shitty human being u are sir
ibreezy 0
my bad, didnt read it properly and thought you pretended to be autistic to make her feel better
StoryOfTheYear 15
8- When you insult someone (especially when it is aimed at intelligence level) you probably want to try to make yourself as informed and professional as possible. Sorry to say but you didn't come anywhere near that. Plus your comment is just flat out terrible. That doesn't help your cause. Then you try to cover it up with some BS excuse that doesn't even correlate with your comment. Way to go.
Freeze_fml 17
You're striking me as retarded.
bigantennaemay 3
does it even qualify as a human being, i wonder.... #8 seems to be something... vile...
fredlax9 7
U have no soul if u make comments like this u heartless asshole
rattusrattus 19
#43: that's not digging your way out of a hole. That's using a freakin' construction auger.
higgy6969 7
Douche bag. Yep that's you.
ollie179 21
Well she was probably born with herpes.
jaq_d 0
Op didnt specify if she said what the defects were I'm guessing possibly a tail and a pitch fork or even extra genitalia.
RedPillSucks 33
Wait?.... Extra genitalia is a defect? I always enjoy it when people say "Go **** yourself", and I actually can. (oohhh. I guess she wouldn't be able to do that if she had two of the same kind)
BlackSnowyOwl 2
Make her go out with herself, yea that'll show her...
higgy6969 7
And the idiot population adds a new member