Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
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Top comments
shawnarawwwrr 0
2, its not evil if she couldnt control it. baby kickers ftw. how far did she fly!??! 0_o
DCS1138 0
This is why Chuck Norris shouldn't be invited to parties...
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Comments (81)
livelife 0
oh shit, i would have been super salty if i were her. haha but yeah i guess it wasnt your fault
elmo6 0
its a fml cuz proubly he feels bad nd ppl are mad at him
24788 7
Mistakes happen, but that's still evil.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
it's the kids fault. even a kid that young has the common sense not to stand in front of a swing like that and not to mention that their parents are always reminding them.
jamieleigh_315 0
77 your retarded she's 3 not 10 not every1 that little knows not 2 go in front of pple swinging
vitjoey4 14
Not with your education maybe, but other then that 3 is old enough to walk and talk and have complex cognitive brain functions, so therefore she should be able to think that a heavy fast moving object would hurt her
DCS1138 0
This is why Chuck Norris shouldn't be invited to parties...
shawnarawwwrr 0
2, its not evil if she couldnt control it. baby kickers ftw. how far did she fly!??! 0_o
Allison_H 0
LOL.
mf_fml 0
reminds me of my friend's birthday parties... her mom handed-out poppers, and since i wasn't feeling the party, i went off away from all the other kids and let my popper go off. right as soon as i did, this kid whizzed past me and it got him right in the face ("that's what she said"). total fml moment. so i can kinda feel ya on this one.
haxromana 2
Well, she won't do that again. Operant conditioning at its finest. You'll all laugh about it when she's older. "Sweetie, do you remember that time that aunt [Name] kicked you in the face? Good times."
Jimboom 12
Ha ha! She deserved for not looking where she was going. The person swinging has little/no control over where they are going. The person walking in front of the swing set does.
Luckycookie 0
today, i turned 3. i got kicked in the face and got a black eye. FML.
CokokoLa 0
why the hell would there be a three year old on FML? wtf
AFloppyWetWhale 6
79 - it's a joke stfu
TheLab 0
Haha that's how some kids learn
Kitiara521 24
I did that once, too... 'cept I didn't feel so bad 'cause I was on the school yard swing set, I was nine, and my mother had been telling him not to walk so close to the swing set 'cause he could get hurt... and his mother should've been watching him instead of... whatever else she was doing. At least you don't have to worry about doing *that* anymore, though. Kids learn fast with stuff like that.