Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
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Top comments
shawnarawwwrr 0
2, its not evil if she couldnt control it. baby kickers ftw. how far did she fly!??! 0_o
DCS1138 0
This is why Chuck Norris shouldn't be invited to parties...
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Comments (81)
c123s456 0
the kid is 3 how exactly is it her fault? i really don't think anyone is at fault here. it was just a terrible accident.
BrandNewKadillak 0
#28, I'm not a full grown man. But thanks for your input.
NoKo_fml 0
#45 dont get pissy, i just generalized.
gayfags 0
I did that once. I felt so bad.
BRBICECREAMTRUCK 0
i hate it when kids do that
cantth1nk0fnam3 3
she deserved it
cartering 0
If you kicked her in the eye, than one must presumed she walked in front of you. If so, then YDI, because even in the unlikely event that this 4 year old had such a grown up swing you couldn't do an automatic stop by scraping your feet across the ground, and so felt there was some reason to do a flying superman leap off of it, you could have just tucked your feet underneath you and/or leaned to the side, and went over top of her
rakhil11 7
50-i think she thought she was jumping off...but didn't? idk.... anyway, not ur fault
TurtleLG 0
i hate kids when they act so stupid, human babies are the stupidest babies in nature. did you land on her?
InspiredByGaGa 8
wow, that girl deserved it.