Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screamed, "Stop winking at me, don't even think about it you ugly fuck!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML
Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
Today, while taking the bus home, a girl stared at me for a while before asking me if I'd ever heard of makeup. FML
Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML
Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
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Top comments
fedora_fan13 0
someone's a self-centered, hard-to-believe-she-can-still-walk, skanky bitch...sorry something similar happened to me
genius_man16 1
Shoulda slapped a ho.
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Comments (107)
eriinbaby 0
bahahhaha ;)
thatguy401 1
Slap a hoe!
barbiegirl224 0
woah I think this is the first time OP has ever written back on an FML. :O
RunnerBack33 1
there's a reason why God invented the pimp slap, my friend.
sjovt 0
you should have said don't flater your self bitch there's dust on my lenses
___juuules 0
the location is Vienna - says it all. far too many self-centered and big-headed bitches in that city ;D
Hopersz 0
Lmfaoo EPIC FAIL. You got OWNED haha
ximenita0731 0
agreed
lucy_moff09 0
hahahah what a loser!! that chick is really weird. she should be taught a lesson
bloodxthirsty 7
You should have been like theres something in my eye bitch!