Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for Christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML
Today, my father is really enjoying the iPhone my mother gave him for Christmas. He's enjoying it so much that he's already installed all sorts of dating apps. FML
Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
LO388 7
That's what you get for snooping!
indielove 13
That's what you get for looking through someone's phone without their permission.
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Comments (111)
manaallovesfmls 19
Mind your own business.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Unless your Xmas wish was to find out about your Dad's sex life, then you totally deserve it!
80skid 15
If you just waited a few days, you would know what you're getting for Christmas and WOULDN'T have to know your dad's favorite position.
hobo_girl 6
So what are you getting for Christmas?
crazy4uboi 6
What did you think you would find? I mean come on!
ByronJess 17
You couldn't wait three more days?!
PandaSpots 10
What is it??
slapsface 10
Doggy style?
DrewF90 5
Don't go looking and then complain about the answers you find. Just think yourself lucky there isn't any pictures of them doing it!
jgriff79 23
Maybe there was!
vbmg152 19
I told myself & FML that I wouldn't post here anymore but, this one is irresistible! You most definitely deserve it!!