Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
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Top comments
LadyGore 12
Check your bedroom thoroughly, if he's not there shut the door put a blanket across the bottom, cover the vents with something that won't catch fire. You are welcome. (;
MakeTodayADTR 20
To do list: - Invent time machine - Go back in time - Find Steve Irwin - Bring him to the future - Deal with snake - Warn Steve about stingrays.
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Comments (116)
mcbreznot 0
Your ******.....your gonna die!
Solipsist 12
your boss wouldn't understand you being late for work because you had to catch a motherfucking snake? Crikey, that's a bit rough. Snakes are relatively harmless, even the venomous ones prefer not to bite humans, hopefully you don't disturb it and it gets scared and bites you, I wish you well!!
read54 3
Check behind objects. Once I went to sleep at my friends house and when I woke up to the right of me behind his desk was his pet snake Nina.
KiddNYC1O 22
Have a sleepover and play "Find the Snake".
jarockstar27 10
My dad and stepmom had a similar situation when we were heading out of town but with a mole. Animal control does wonders
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
For ***** snake OP pull yourself together!
bethrocksya 9
I would of called an exterminator! Or at the very least, a friend to go check it out while your working! That SUCKS OP!
creedaddict 9
Call billy the exterminator
geod69 8
Make sure you don't sleep in the nude
iHeartMuzik 0
Oh Harry, Use Ur Wand Whenever There Is a Snake Trying To Slytherin! :$