Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
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Top comments
LadyGore 12
Check your bedroom thoroughly, if he's not there shut the door put a blanket across the bottom, cover the vents with something that won't catch fire. You are welcome. (;
MakeTodayADTR 20
To do list: - Invent time machine - Go back in time - Find Steve Irwin - Bring him to the future - Deal with snake - Warn Steve about stingrays.
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Comments (116)
Tolarie 13
I agree with #10, try the couch! Also, snakes like warmth so perhaps you could use that to your advantage?
torbey 23
snakes are attracted to heat, especially pythons. hopefully it was just a python. in that case OP has nothing to worry about as they have no venum and if it were large enough to try eat the OP they would have found it by now. bad luck if it is a venomous though! I love my snakes (clearly) but the venomous ones freak me out. although I completely understand why so many people are afraid of snakes :)
ShyAnn29 15
Snakes are pretty
ShyAnn29 15
Sorry, I was going to write something else, but I forgot what that was, so I just went with snakes are pretty, lol
wilsonquan 0
check your toilet before using it
Toshiro_Izero 5
well sounds like someone will be watching we're they step until mr snake is found lol
MakeTodayADTR 20
To do list: - Invent time machine - Go back in time - Find Steve Irwin - Bring him to the future - Deal with snake - Warn Steve about stingrays.
Myo_fml 20
Why not just go back and prevent the snake from entering the domicile?
gracehi 33
Because that doesn't bring back the Crocodile Hunter! May he rest in peace.
bearssoftball40 4
Genius.
jarockstar27 10
Steve irwin was awesome, this is a great plan!
perdix 31
That sssssssucksssss!
lilhellian 27
thatssssssss chessssssseey
soulebelius 17
I would like to agree with 44, but he misspelled "cheese"
mikeofthunder 13
Where's that guy with Samuel L Jackson as his pic? This is HIS FML xD
dabeast15 7
call animal control or something.
Enslaved 38
Name him Kaa or perhaps Nagini? ***I had a garter snake growing up. She ate crickets!
1DLover74 6
Those sound like the names of the snakes in "Rikki-Tikki Tavi"!!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
IM TIRED OF THESE MOTHAFUCKIN' SNAKES IN MY MOTHAFUCKIN' HOUSE!! Or, the classy way: My patience is wearing thin with these mother copulating slithering reptiles inside of my mother copulating place of residence.
SummerTime69 5
Check spots that could capture heat,like under your bed,under furniture,in closets or anything like piles of clothes or blankets because they usually want to get warm :) good luck OP!