Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
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Top comments
slitherbomb 0
Don't take shame in your *****! Do it with pride, you're a man! At least I think you are....
13FTW 9
The best part of this FML is how he referenced his shit to be " a very loud and very smelly session"
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Comments (78)
facilitator 0
Maybe his identification is a license to kill.
birdman09 0
Stupid fml....
santel_fml 8
That's disgusting. I hate walking into work toilets when someone has stunk it out.
R4P3DwithALOHA 0
ruuu rohhh scoby snak ya blonde
wildnout06 0
The person in the stall must have been weird to let you grab some tissue while they were still in there
Seductive_Turtle 2
When Im in a public washroom, I usually wait for something really loud to happen. That's when I let it rip.
PYROxSYCO3 7
Thats a little scary
MrIrish20 1
I'm not seeing the FML. Oh no they saw your ID?! Maybe they'll call you and talk about it, or even better, they'll take a picture of your ID and post it up on a social site and say "I heard this person take the loudest crap!"
stabbed1ntheback 0
It's normal... Don't fret
meliweli 7
really, who takes a shit at work? haha
Dilwann 27
People who feel like they have to go. Really, everyone *****, so it's no use holding it up for a few minutes less of embarrassment.