Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML
Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML
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Top comments
Emmamazing 26
Well, she's not wrong.
TeasinDaNoobs 16
Whenever theres a girl around, guys tend to dumb down.. Better luck next time OP
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Comments (104)
TheIlluminatii 12
Should have asked about the whipped cream and then done a sexy wink. Would have made me wet.
hansky 15
Smmmooooooottthhhhhh
writerchic85 26
Unprofessional of her. Sometimes people don't see stuff. No reason to call them an idiot.
teentee401 37
Idk how that didn't work. Cream cheese is very sexy.
ACTIONbl00dROCK 18
Why would you think it'd be flirty asking where the cream cheese was?
HiveMindFury 15
Yeah, you totally deserved that one, buddy! Poor attempt at flirting, and while she was just trying to do her job! Although she definitely shouldn't have called you an idiot, but still!
jqmalang 17
You're lucky you didn't get to her that close. She's a bitch.
lucyjm 10
Wow that's a great pick up line "hey, where's the Cream cheese" ?
Weiss_Schnee 14
How is asking where the cream cheese is flirty in any way?!
spantos 7
as someone who works in a grocery store, I can tell you we get a lot of dumb questions every day. she was probably just having a bad day lol