Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML
Today, we're having my grandmother over. Because we don't have a guest room, she is sleeping in mine. It is 25°C at night and she is sleeping naked with her dog right next to me. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML
Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
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Top comments
erockinthesuburb 17
I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't get this image of a grandpa doing an uppercut on granny's chin out of my head...
omfg_creepers 8
My grandma once slept in my room and yelled her dreams out really loud in her sleep. I also would wake her up to ask her if she was ok and tell her there were no children stealing carrots from her garden.
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Comments (41)
Spritemazter 0
That is just a bad deal deal altogether, even though he is your grandpa.
the_pan1c 5
#firstworldproblems
the_pan1c 5
#firstworldproblems
carlovr435 10
Delete repeated word? Y/N?
torio123 27
When my granddad comes to stay, he barks like a wild dog all night in his sleep. Sometimes I wonder what goes through an old persons head...
bacon1043 3
1 - Your profile pic scared me for a second
AnMiVa89 0
well he could be hitting you...
Superstitious 6
...without OP noticing?
Jiplo 18
And can you tell me why, again, would OP's grandpa be in the same room as him? much less the same bed?
maya15289 6
Llllllllllll
Swiftly 0
Keep those hands up!
lolmigosh 15
Oh come on he's your grandpa
MrSassypants 34
I know right? Old people should be able to do anything they want. It should be made into a law. It should be called "Oh come on he's an older citizen so he swerves the right to do whatevr he wants" law.
MrSassypants 34
Deserves* whatever* God damn my tubby thumbs.
erockinthesuburb 17
I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't get this image of a grandpa doing an uppercut on granny's chin out of my head...
omfg_creepers 8
My grandma once slept in my room and yelled her dreams out really loud in her sleep. I also would wake her up to ask her if she was ok and tell her there were no children stealing carrots from her garden.
leogirl95 12
Ah, the elderly. Gotta love em.
yummy_richkid 3
No, not really. Mandatory death age FTW.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yeah, let's start a society where you kill of the elderly simply because you don't like them. Let's start with yummy_richkid!
DBZEXPERT1 0
No you don't
Marifer98 7
Poor granny :(
RahmEsHestos 5
You could move your camp bed into another room, sleep on a couch, or try to convince them to get a futon (did I spell that right?) and you can sleep on that.
bienlunee 6
Yes.
DocBastard 40
Bob and weave! Bob and weave!! Besides, he's old. How fast can he be? You can probably knock out the old codger with one well-placed uppercut.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
That's what they want you to think. They fool you with their frail outward appearance, but in reality can beat you shitless. You should see how some old men can be at the gym, it's awe-inspiring and intimidating at the same time.