Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML
Today, we're having my grandmother over. Because we don't have a guest room, she is sleeping in mine. It is 25°C at night and she is sleeping naked with her dog right next to me. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML
Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
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Top comments
erockinthesuburb 17
I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't get this image of a grandpa doing an uppercut on granny's chin out of my head...
omfg_creepers 8
My grandma once slept in my room and yelled her dreams out really loud in her sleep. I also would wake her up to ask her if she was ok and tell her there were no children stealing carrots from her garden.
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Comments (41)
natnatkat 8
This is suspiciously like a tv show i watched one time... Parks and recreation, maybe?
GoW_Chick 15
I'm a lover not a fighter also, I wouldn't want to have to float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee just to fend off an old wild pig with a mean left hook either. -.-
justplainbee 0
I'd sleep on the couch.
tennisrapper1 14
Your granddad is a man we know that for sure...
mikeymayhem_87 15
Probably slang in slang.... Like knocking her lights out
gonad_gobbler 1
bam! right in the kisser
MigraineurOfLife 15
Ouch!
HannahWho 8
Maybe you could suggest that they get twin beds for them?
perdix 31
I wonder what happens when you pair a wild boar with a domestic bore.
cryssycakesx3 23
OP's grandfather.
jess45680 2
That rhyms