Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML
Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Today, I discovered that a high enough stress level can cause the same symptoms as the flu. So whenever things are quite awful at work, I get the added bonus of feeling like I’m coming down with something really nasty. FML
Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML
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Top comments
lovelockdown23 23
although you can get the flu, yours just sounds like a cold.
BadDay98 18
Come into work and give him the flu, that'll show him
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Comments (77)
StayFaithful 8
Lame
bab3ruthl3ss 16
If it helps, it doesn't sound at all like you have the flu anyway. The flu knocks you on your ass & you'd have many more complaints with the body aches & chills, etc.
amileah13 26
Does your boss live on another planet? Apparently he has never had the flu or been sick any other season besides winter...
Dexter83_fml 17
Go in to work and sneeze all over the prick
TomeDr 25
Get a doctor's note.
simsgirlgem 25
I go to work and then promptly pass out make sure there are plenty of witnesses and after being wheeled out weakly but loud enough to be heard say you're going to sue that should get some hire ups to take notice and hopefully deal with your bosses idiocy
Brandi_Faith 34
I actually find this really funny as long as an ambulance wasn't called.
loganberrybat 11
You have a cold. Suck it up and go to work.
Headcrab 29
That's a cold, not the flu.
worldclassrager 41
The flu usually consists of vomiting...it seems like you have the rhino virus...did you still get the day off? With no consequences
Brandi_Faith 34
There are 2 types of flu's, the flu like a stomach bug where you're puking, and then a cold flu, which is a bad cold + a fever, body aches (and usually chills because of the fever), and sometimes diarrhea. The flu shot you get in the winter is actually to prevent the cold type flu which in turn helps to prevent pneumonia and other chest infections, as well as H1N1. I always thought the flu shot was to prevent stomach bugs, and was very disappointed when I found it it didn't. I'd much rather have a cold flu then a puking stomach flu!
Steve_Dudley_UK 10
You are a man so it is probably a cold. If a man had the flu he wouldn't have the strength or inclination to be on a computer telling the world what his boss said, he would be too busy thinking he was about to die.