Today, I wore a coat that was too tight. The button gave way and quickly flew about ten feet to hit my very attractive new coworker right in the ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML
Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML
Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt I was really pleased to have bought. As soon as I put it on, I noticed it was a bit tight, but I thought it would stretch out. By the end of the day, I looked like I was wearing a sausage casing. My coworkers couldn’t stop laughing. FML
Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML
Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML
Today, as I walked with a coworker to my office through a gas station, I slid on some oil and fell right on my ass. He helped by holding my lunch. My jeans are ruined and I'm too broke to buy a new pair. FML
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML
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Top comments
raven_of_azarath 35
Sounds like your jacket had more balls than you do. And also needs to be written up for sexual harassment.
Slim87R 7
Hey, at least your jacket broke the ice for you. A+ Wingman.
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Comments (15)
Lobby_Bee 18
Who cares, you can breath now!
raven_of_azarath 35
Sounds like your jacket had more balls than you do. And also needs to be written up for sexual harassment.
Glowworm56 27
That button's a great wingman!
Slim87R 7
Hey, at least your jacket broke the ice for you. A+ Wingman.
RichardPencil 32
#TimesUp #MeToo Do the honorable thing and resign like Al Franken. At your next job, you should always wear loose-fitting clothes in the office — they do a better job concealing your boners.
manb91uk 22
Your button hit her on the ass, huh? I’ve heard wandering hands called many things before but never, NEVER buttons!
Selene1090 26
Why would you wear something that tight to begin with?
thejimhawkins 13
Well that's one way to make your intentions known
tonyfan00 38
Butt on button!
noellebelle626 19
well... atleast you have a conversation starter now