Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML
Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Today, I discovered that a high enough stress level can cause the same symptoms as the flu. So whenever things are quite awful at work, I get the added bonus of feeling like I’m coming down with something really nasty. FML
Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML
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Top comments
lovelockdown23 23
although you can get the flu, yours just sounds like a cold.
BadDay98 18
Come into work and give him the flu, that'll show him
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Comments (77)
WarMachine68 24
your boss is an actual idiot
Silk_Routes 14
time to contact human resources
hayahh1012 11
it does suck to be sick and apparently your boss is an idiot you can get the flu anytime
ryliemaddison03 14
Come in to work and sneeze on him or in his coffee...
wolfy_fml 5
What a dingus. I am currently sick too... it is terrible.
insaneygolover 9
Dude you wuss. That's a cold. You can go to work. Puking is the only time you can call in sick
thecrazymancan 17
That's a terrible idea. Do you have any idea how many deadly diseases don't cause a person to throw up? Or how many of them have symptoms exactly like that of a common cold?
Shade1982 21
Also, I've been in many places of work where they actually send you home just for having a cold. They don't want it spreading. Your place of work is one of the top places to get sick these days...
Sathane 21
Tell your boss that the flu is caused by a virus and not the weather. also call him an uneducated stone age *******, just for good measure.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That sounds more like a bad cold to me, which does suck, yes, but the flu means puking, diarrhea, or both, on top of that other stuff. Still, if you don't feel good, you should stay home, if for no other reason than to prevent the infection spreading throughout your work place.
naiveprophet 15
You're describing the "stomach flu" which is gastroenteritis and not influenza.
MandieL 27
OP may not have listed all his symptoms for us. Regardless, OP, your boss is an ass. You can get hypothermia in the summer. Why not the flu? I feel for you. My husband has the flu right now and I have a really bad cold. I hope you feel better soon!
jennlody 28
Getting a note or something from a doctor may be the only way to prove you're sick. It does sound like you just have a cold though, every time I've had the flu (which has been often because I have a weak immune system) I've always had nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and extremely bad headaches. When I have a cold or sinus infection I tend to have your symptoms. Nevertheless, hope you feel better and that your boss didn't make you work if you felt like you couldn't.