Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML
Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Today, I discovered that a high enough stress level can cause the same symptoms as the flu. So whenever things are quite awful at work, I get the added bonus of feeling like I’m coming down with something really nasty. FML
Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML
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Top comments
lovelockdown23 23
although you can get the flu, yours just sounds like a cold.
BadDay98 18
Come into work and give him the flu, that'll show him
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Comments (77)
jazzy_123 20
your boss is an idiot. I'm not sure how it is in Pennsylvania but I know in California they can't question you if you call out sick. Hopefully it's the same there so your boss won't give you a hard time.
Brandi_Faith 34
I don't see why op has to say what the problem is in the first place. He should've just said "I'm sick and can't come in today," and leave it at that. They shouldn't be able to question you on how sick you are.
imkool136 22
Honestly, **** him. He's too stupid to be your boss. That's just me though.... Hope you feel better:)
Dave_Davington 34
I'll bet the idiot probably thinks wearing a jacket makes you immune to it as well. Honestly, what is it about colds/flu specifically that has people believing such medieval bullshit about a viral infection?
lovelockdown23 23
well the name of the illness is cold so I can see where the ignorance came from. also the timing of flu shots.
1DisGR8 32
Go and throw up on him. Simple.
Dave_Davington 34
Follow it up with some explosive diarrhoea all over his desk. I can see nothing whatsoever wrong with that course of action.
lilchica22001 22
Go into work and sneeze on your boss's computer keyboard/mouse. He'll be sick in no time and you can tell him that you were right and should have stayed home :)
mustangbravo 27
What a dumb idiot boss you have. Tell him to research the flu and get educated.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Go get him sick
IcemistDragon 20
Your boss is an idiot. Just saying =/ Get better soon though and follow up if you went into work sick to show your boss how dumb he is.
TabooSushi 24
Go in, breathe on and touch everything in his office, and then secretly laugh when he gets sick. Douchebag boss.
BlueXephos 10
Find a man named Dean "************" Jones