Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML
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Top comments
Enslaved 38
All three of you were taking a shit at the same time? Everyone must have eaten at Taco Bell!
Serisent 26
If you were really talking shit about your boss at work, you're lucky all he did was answer sarcastically. I would have fired you just for being dumb enough to do that where you could be overheard.
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Comments (94)
Unexpected12 8
I just would have got out before your boss so they wouldn't know it was you.
ColdplaySucks 18
He/She* And I'm gonna guess that OP's voice could be recognized while they were talking.
perdix 31
You should have diverted the conversation to literal shit. You wouldn't have gotten into deep shit with your boss.
Alexis2742 31
Well if it was in the office around people you know, that has to be pretty awkward
FML_Elle 17
Lol at least ur boss sounds like he has a sense of humor
superrocket19 17
Well it's not like you can change the past
superrocket19 17
Fine whatever. Just tell the boss why you agreed
pacmanman 15
That's why you don't talk "shit" about you boss at work.
zandalee 20
This is why you always defend the boss! Regardless of him being the mother of all assholes or a sweetie. When at work - be non-judgemental or nice. ;)
CoffeeChickBlows 13
That's when you leave a double-decker in his favorite shitter as insurance, just in case he fires your stupid ass.
wvcheesehead1 9
Who does number 2 work for? Maybe no one now.
Chel2010 10
Crap. You beat me to it. Hope the other guy doesn't switch out your boss's coffee.....o.O
whY402Jay 12
Did he suspend or fire you?