Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML
Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML
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Top comments
dr_snow_bear 29
At least your boss cares about you. Be glad.
Racky_fml 14
At least you can say you're attracting customers, even if they are weird.
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Comments (56)
dr_snow_bear 29
At least your boss cares about you. Be glad.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Pineapples!
Peachy2392 26
How did #36 get thumbed down?? I love the reference.
thatsucks4you 7
Also, your boss isn't a weirdo himself. And what dr_snow_bear said too.
Racky_fml 14
At least you can say you're attracting customers, even if they are weird.
untouchable763 10
Yeah I agree with #1 most employers would just fire you and replace you with all the other degrees that are unemployed. So be happy :)
ilovera 7
Soooo, whats the code?
HeartOfLead 24
If you don't know, take the hint! Sincerely, the Society of Regular People Against the "Weirdos"
mb2_native 15
It better be waffles.. Bitches love waffles.
Bakarra 22
I always feel like the strange people at least provide something interesting to my job because there are too many of my coworkers who live to just clock in, work their shift and leave but it's always these people who complain about how boring their job is. A job is what you make it and I'd take a strange person over a boring one to entertain me anyday.
lysx84 24
Strange is one thing, inappropriate is another. If the boss has had to make a code with OP chances are these people are creepy and borderline dangerous!
Bakarra 22
Ah yes but inappropriate is such a subjective term numero ocho yet fear not your point is both acknowledged and validated by me nonetheless
HaraAishi 8
At my job, I get an odd mix. I get drunks, guys that through chairs at TVs, slashed tires (not mine), homeless guys that stare through the window... I could go on. Sometimes I want the boring people.
kozzard 17
throw*
calivianya 29
If you're finding them interesting, I wouldn't call them strange. Maybe eclectic, but not inappropriate. I'm always getting the inappropriate ones, like OP... I wish I got interesting people.
mb2_native 15
6, you would probably like working with me, I've been working retail since I was 14. I'm a bit ADHD so I'm usually not boring unless I'm absolutely lazy, and even then I have a way of making people laugh. I have a love/hate relationship with work, but who doesn't? :p
melbaby112 11
Haha a coworkers did this for me too! I understand and it sucks balls..so awkward!!
wlddog 14
Sooooo.... Your saying that "pet name" you gave me is actually a distress code?? I may have to return the nametag "Mr Fuzzywuzzy". I am hurt 9.... Deeply hurt.
zandalee 20
I have this exact same problem. From a very young age, I have always attracted every weirdo/wacko within a country mile. Keeps my life interesting to say the least. I wouldn't have it any other way. Normality is so over-rated!
Sputnikspak 13
One of my close friends (and former coworkers) has the same problem. When we worked together, the creepiest of creepers would bother her. None of us other girls had the problem, and none of us could figure out exactly WHY. It's not like she's any different from any of us!
zandalee 20
I honestly don't know either. Maybe it's a chemical attraction/reaction thing... Never a dull moment though. :)
FML_Whale 18
Hey, the creepiest creeps are attracted to me too! I've invested in blinds instead of curtains. Smartest move I've made in a while..
Sputnikspak 13
We had to set up a buddy system for leaving work late at night. One of us would drive her (until she got her own car), or our boss would, because some of the weirdoes tried to FOLLOW HER HOME. I've had my share of creeps. My favourite was the middle-aged guy who approached me while I was walking my dog and told me I had "an awesome rack" and asked if I'd show him my ****. I was fifteen. And never happier to have an unfriendly, overprotective grump of a dog.
Pleonasm 36
By code, she means dress code. She dresses up as Nicki Minaj, and then no one even looks at her anymore, voilà!
rfvyhn 14
My compliments! Elegant problem solving.
Enslaved 38
But Pleonasm "StarShips were meant to Fly". Oops! I take that craziness back. See what happened to me after I kissed that damn Blarney Stone?:P
Bakarra 22
8: inappropriate is quite the subjective term but yes I see and acknowledge your point
Bakarra 22
ah bollocks fml app for phone doesnt permit replies so feel free to bury me here
TheDrifter 24
Get the newest fml official app. It lets you do most everything you can in the site.
Bakarra 22
Oi much thanks for that one twunnafahv I was still using ifml which doesn't allow replies but I've made the switch now praaaaaaise jeeeeezus