Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML
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Top comments
Enslaved 38
All three of you were taking a shit at the same time? Everyone must have eaten at Taco Bell!
Serisent 26
If you were really talking shit about your boss at work, you're lucky all he did was answer sarcastically. I would have fired you just for being dumb enough to do that where you could be overheard.
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Comments (94)
lovelyohhmee 8
Did you all eat at the same place lol
noelasis94 18
All that talk without commenting on the stink I'd say you've done alright at least the boss knows your shit don't stink so I'd keep you
node_fml 5
Sounds like an asshole was talking shit behind his back.
KileyPatterson 4
The first thing on my mind would be grab the teepee and run my ass out of there before my boss found out it was me. What's worse, talking shit about your boss, or him knowing you take ***** at work....
TrishMarie 7
That awkward moment when someone in the stall next you starts a conversation while you're trying to take a shit...
Dead_Fox 17
You may need a vacation if: your biological clock has synchronized with everyone at work, including your boss.
laden_swallow09 35
"I'm sorry man, but I'm trying to hurry up, here. Do you mind?"
stewpididiot 11
You were 'Awkwardly' taking a dump ?? Were you sitting backwards on the toilet?? Or sideways ??
happyapy 16
How does one take an "awkward" dump? (Aside from the typical social discomfort that arises from taking a poo around other people of course)
onorexveritas 24
best to stay quiet during your "awkward" dump