Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys, and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour, before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML
Today, I went in my car to a very important job interview. I was out of gas, so I had to get some on the way. When i was done pumping, I went to get back in and the door handle broke off on the driver's side. Then I blew a tire on a piece of metal. Needless to say, I lost my chance. FML
Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML
Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
Today, I showed up to an important meeting 20 minutes late, claiming I couldn't find my keys. They were in my hand the whole time, and I realized it just as I reached for the doorknob. Everyone saw me pause mid-step, staring at my hand in disbelief. FML
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Top comments
Legendslayer222 26
Sounds like it was a great day out! :D
mandee612 15
Where exactly did you lose your keys if you broke down?
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Comments (30)
HappyPickles 11
So, were you going to do a stand-up comedy routine at the talent quest? If not, then perhaps you should find something that you are talented at?
HomeAl0ne 20
You just assumed he was a janitor. In reality, it was all part of a clever plan another contestant had to psych you out of the talent quest. Step one was steal a broom...
gardenwhipped 5
I agree your day sucked. At least you got passed the whole car problem thing and you can be fresh for the audition tomorrow. At least you didn't have to go through airport security and get molested on top of everything else.
CheckMyProfile 17
why didn't u call to make sure?
LarRy_PokR_ 0
Janitors: Helping stupid people remember sh*t since 1863
pineapplecrispii 0
Awww, well don't you look foolish!
RoxxyHustle 7
how did you not notice there was no one else in the theatre?
dansco 25
Hope you took it as a sign lol
sarahhoho 0
well how'd ya get to the show then??
ohyeahbaby 5
Wow, that was a hell of a day..