Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later, while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
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Top comments
TayonaC 10
Do you know how many people pee in pools? If you're grossed out by one person maybe you shouldn't go to public pools because a large majority of people pee in them.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
That's gross! I think you should have a word with your son about this.
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Comments (56)
YourMoms_BF 2
Tag him in a status saying my son loves to swim in pee, Still best feeling ever?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Well, he was just trying to heat it up for you! At least he didn't crap in the pool. That would have been worse. Piss disperses.
jlperry31 10
Post a picture of them in the bathtub as children and say something like still pissing on themselves.
Mahtari 19
I'd be more angry about the fact that they used a comma in place of a semicolon.
iDerp 3
Failing Grammar Nazi is failing.
Astroman129 7
You would actually need a colon. The two parts are not independent clauses.
Twonty2 6
It is a good feeling. Anyone?… no? Okay, lovely weather we're having.
hotrod28 4
Too old to be peeing in the pool or to young to be on facebook.
Twonty2 6
True story.
greenie213 23
I'm a lifeguard, and I'll tell you this right now. If I ever caught someone peeing in MY pool. I'd loose my shit.
Justin0481 5
You would have a bowel movement because someone pee'd? Seems like you would just be trying to "one up" the kid.
Lifeguardlarry 3
You are handling this situation all wrong.
stormchaser24 24
That's gross, bit with all of the cleaners in it there they will be almost no germs.
AcieMcG 21
1. Normal urine is sterile. 2. Most people don't shower beforehand so their sweat, sunscreen, and dead skin mixes into the pool. 3. Just don't go to a public pool since chances are people aren't showering and peeing in it.
devonisthebest 7
Everyone has peed in a pool once or twice
RedPillSucks 33
"Everyone does it" is never a good argument/justification for something. It is never true.