Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Today, I was driving home. It was late and I wanted to get home so I started speeding. I didn't wanna get a ticket so I slowed down everytime I saw a car that could be a cop, judging by headlights. There was a car with a busted headlight so I sped up. Couldn't be a cop car. It could. $216 proof. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML
Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML
Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML
Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
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Top comments
leogachi 15
I'm going to assume that you were already speeding and that's why you needed to slow down. Therefore you deserve the ticket and shouldn't be calling an officer names for doing his job.
wontmakeitalone 10
Why is it necessary to call the officer names when you were the one in the wrong and he or she was just doing their job?
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Comments (78)
omzz15 23
FYI their radar can track you out a couple hundred feet so they see you before you see them and it tracks front and back and side. Learned that from my towns police chief during a ride along for school
oiler 21
I bet OP posted this while driving also
ewwvtec 9
Did you mention to him that you called him a ****-knob? YDI for that alone. Hope the $480 ticket gets tp you just in time for Christmas ❤.
Sandman2015 12
Who's the **** knob now princess?
kovalsky_fml 10
Sounds like you're the ****-knob.. ****-knob! Ydi for sure. There wasn't any need to be an asshole in the first place.
amkaye1017 3
Wouldn't have mattered anyway. By the time you see them they've already got you.
isabella1309 5
This is written like you're a two year old op...
NYGiants1925 22
I'm not going to give you shit for speeding, we all do that. But you pump you brakes when that happens, not slam on them. That's just asking to get rear ended. Between that & using the wrong pedal I think you should get your license revoked instead of a speeding ticket. It just screams terrible driver.
Ichiya 29
Not everyone speeds.
osharroyo 3
Sounds like you're the ****-knob. YDI
ghostriley 14
Speed limits are stupid just tell the officer your speedo doesn't work mine actually doesn't work they'll usually let you off