Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Today, I was driving home. It was late and I wanted to get home so I started speeding. I didn't wanna get a ticket so I slowed down everytime I saw a car that could be a cop, judging by headlights. There was a car with a busted headlight so I sped up. Couldn't be a cop car. It could. $216 proof. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML
Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML
Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML
Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
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Top comments
leogachi 15
I'm going to assume that you were already speeding and that's why you needed to slow down. Therefore you deserve the ticket and shouldn't be calling an officer names for doing his job.
wontmakeitalone 10
Why is it necessary to call the officer names when you were the one in the wrong and he or she was just doing their job?
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Comments (78)
extremereviews 26
You sir, are the "****-knob"
I can't stand leg puns! 23
One of my best friends was killed when some speeding driver hit a speed camera, which collapsed onto her head. All irony aside, pay closer attention, take the ticket, and don't drive like a ******* lunatic
tomvertigo 17
So he is sitting there, doing his job and is a **** knob for it. You're clealrly breaking the law by speeding, have so few brain cells firing that you accelerate instead of slow down and then post an FML about it, thinking you deserve sympathy? You, sir, are the **** knob in this situation. YDI and more.
oiler 21
YDI, you were speeding in the first place. Also why would you call a cop a " ****-knob " when hes only doing his job
Scorpio01 16
Good thing... You are a danger on the road if u floor gas instead of hitting brakes
Omniprism 15
It doesn't matter that you floored it. His little gun caught you way before you even saw him.
apcsox 18
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
thatonetribute 31
You shouldn't be calling officers names, moron. They work hard enough without jerks like you. He was just doing his job.
MariaGiovanni 25
SpongeBob is that you? "Floor it? Floor It?!?!"
Shane557 12
You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.