Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
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Top comments
imcooool 0
haha I'm sorry but that made me lmaooooo! haa
CH723 0
he was trying to be funny and lighten the mood. how in ***** name does that deserve wrath ?
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Comments (146)
domyoji_fml 0
In all honesty to the OP he was probably thinking you have *ahem* "roast beef lips" You may want to google image search "Im thinkin Arbys" to see a prime example. Just sayin this might be much worse than you originally though, making it way more awesome than just repeating some stupid commercial.
supertech 0
haha win..totes mcgoets
VittiChan 2
lol!!! x3
epoh_fml 0
He was thinking Arby's, meaning roast beef. He wanted to part your roast beef curtains, if ya know what I mean ;)
White667 0
You know what I don't understand? Every woman in the entire work is always complaining about guys always wanting sex, thinking about nothing but that and using girls continually. Yet every girlfriend on FML gets pissed off when a guy DOESN'T want it. I mean Jesus, mixed signals?
quietlytearful 0
shouldn't have even asked.....
ragingflame 0
27 yeah
kiljoi 0
what an ass
perdix 31
I was guessing that he was thinking about your open-faced roast beef sandwich. However, if you did, you would have experienced a night of orgiastic pleasure and wouldn't be writing an FML about it. Next time, ask him for some squirts of Horsey Sauce and you'll be back in the game.
chomsuon 0
lmao