Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML
Today, I walked into my best friend's house and her mom threw a box of condoms at me and said, "Stay safe, slut." FML
Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML
Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Today, my best friend called me a slut during an argument, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She lost her virginity at 13 years-old, and all four of her kids have a different dad. When I mentioned it, she gave me a black eye. FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
vanaathiel 13
Wow. Report her. Not only is she teaching incorrect information, but she's calling a student a ****. Get her a$$ fired!
chelsearenaeee 16
Your teacher sounds like a 40 year old ignorant virgin.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
ethanman82 8
I bet she that teacher has even seen a penis.
PipingMouse 14
I bet she has never seen a penis before in her life* I bet that teacher has never seen a penis** Choose one.
therealslim 15
Or, 'I bet that teacher hasn't even seen a penis', which seems to be what #11 intended
suspiciousspider 4
You've got to report this to someone above her, and report it to a teacher you trust. That sort of behavior is never ok and it's especially inappropriate coming from a teacher to a student. She doesn't deserve the job.
jelly713 19
Better yet, OP, complain to your parents & they can report your teacher. It's much more effective because your parents have to fight for your rights anyway while you're a minor. When I would report a problem as a minor, the administration would shrugged me off. But the time my AP English teacher pompously told me that being under privileged, I would never be able to succeed in life like a rich privileged child would, my mother gave administration an earful about her lowering my self esteem as a student & making such outrageous statements. I had went to my teacher to let her know I couldn't afford to buy any of the required literature books at that time & asked her for other options I could do for the time being. Then my teacher's superiors corrected her by giving her a warning, she was left in fear of being told off by her bosses again, so she was less arrogant after that. So confide in your parents & let them take care if it. Don't feel bad because what she did was unprofessional & wrong.
Soobie 10
49, you did not belong in AP English if you "had went to" the teacher.
jelly713 19
181, People make grammar mistakes all the time, not catching one silly mistake doesn't mean I didn't belong in AP.
AliceAristocrat 12
Not to be all trigger happy, but teachers aren't allowed to say that to students. That's like one of those offenses that could get her fired.
Mopmob02 18
AliceAristocrat is right, and coupled with the fact that she is giving extremely incorrect information about protection makes her a dreadful SexEd teacher. And to top it all off she calls OP a ****; she deserves to be fired.
DanielleinDC 34
Well, that's what abstinence-only "education" is--deliberately misinforming students. I don't know if OP still lives in a state that prefers keeping kids ignorant or that she has a teacher who's remarkably misinformed, but study after study shows it doesn't work. When used properly--and I must stress that--condoms are pretty darn effective.
frankenfinger 12
i'm with #1, she needs to be reported because that is only a toe in the door to bullying
toaster012 17
Ouch. That was harsh and rude.
akiahara 14
Holy shit... she is part of the problem in this country. She has no business "teaching" anyone.
mystashisgone 6
Saw your profile pic and remembered how much I loved Nintendo!
laden_swallow09 35
You know you can send private messages on the website, right? Oh, you're only on the smartphone app? I suppose that comment wasn't worth the space, then.
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
The app has a messaging feature too ;)
PipingMouse 14
She seems like one of those spiteful people that would poke holes in the condoms she gives out in class...
akiahara 14
That's terrifying.
jj40 3
Actually that statistic is close to the correct statistic because condoms are usually used incorrectly. The statistics the condom company gives you is in proper use but drunks and inexperience people don't use them correctly making them less effective
Snowkeys 11
That's why you always take the dirt road.
akiahara 14
Shouldn't sex education teach you to use a condom?
Sputnikspak 13
46 - I feel the same way. In Canada, my introduction to sex ed was in third grade - you learn the science mechanics of it first (how the ovaries release an egg, how you can get pregnant, etc). Then in sixth grade, there was another section where you learn about puberty and sex. In ninth grade you have the biggest class, learning about STDs and pregnancy and safe sex. It absolutely terrifies me that they think abstinence-based education actually works. The failure rate of condoms is directly proportional to the education students receive about using them. Teach them early how to use them CORRECTLY, and you'll watch that failure rate go down. The failure rate as far as pregnancy goes will also go down if condoms are used in combination with other forms of birth control, and condoms also prevent STDs. Also, 50% failure rate of condoms for pregnancy is COMPLETELY WRONG. With perfect use, the failure rate for pregnancy is 2%. With typical use, it's 15%.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I gotta be honest. I do not understand how someone can misuse a condom. It is really quite straight forward. Plus most condoms come with instructions. Perhaps we need to focus more on teaching people to read.
Sputnikspak 13
I imagine the most common problems are things like putting it on the wrong way, not pulling the air out of the tip, or not grabbing it before pulling out. Using it wrong can lead to breaking (they rarely break when used properly), which is where the failure stats come in.
TheDrifter 24
In my experience, condoms have a rather high failure rate, around 25%. While those failures may rarely lead to pregnancy, as it's not a guaranteed outcome, and they often break early, I believe condom makers should really take some responsibility for quality and make some that stand up to real world use a little better. Also, extra small to medium, with one single style in large is BS. We need more sizes and styles for those of us who weren't born with a size handicap.
gracehi 33
I'm pretty sure the chance of pregnancy, even without any form of contraception, is usually less than 50%.
love_me_electric 20
121 - It depends what point of the menstrual cycle the woman's in. If she's ovulating there's a very good chance she'd get pregnant from having unprotected sex. If she's on her period it's extremely unlikely. I've heard that if you have unprotected sex for a month, you have about a 25% chance of getting pregnant. Although I'm not sure if that's a scientifically proven statistic or just something someone made up.
Celestia1982 5
Actually, a perfectly sexually healthy man and woman, at the optimal point in the woman's monthly cycle (2-3 days before ovulation) only have approx a 20% chance of conceiving any given month. And that's if they're TRYING.
mokielove 10
if a teacher said that, they have no place in the school. that's ducked up on so many levels. I would have called my parents. went to the principles office. reported that person. teachers have no right to talk to students, in that way at all.
truesarrif 33
yea who the duck does she think she is anyways?
jessi_sunshine 26
So Autocorrect Duck visited you today, huh, 76? How is the little fellow? He hasn't been at the pond in a while.
krazykyra 12
"If you have sex, you will get pregnant, and die."
akiahara 14
Morning sickness feels that way.
wjh100 13
if you have sex your penis will fall off and go into an alternate deminsion full of dogs and they will eat it
maebelline12 12
Am I the only one who noticed the Mean Girls reference? Love that movie!!
interesting33 37
I think they noticed :) It is a good film!
Zomg_Okay 27
Every time you have sex, God allows Nickleback to release a new album.