Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied, "Oh, I usually come early." She laughed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, at work, a really hot guy came up to me and asked, "What are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4, but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said, "I meant your store hours." He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML
Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML
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Top comments
vonstrangle 0
"Today someone had a sense of humor and I didn't. FML"
vietiscool 2
it's ok. funny joke.
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Comments (123)
blackberry_fml 0
Come = ejaculate "I usually "ejaculate" early" Its a slang word used instead of "ejaculating" For you kids that don't know "coming" early is not a good thing in the sexual world. It makes someone think you won't last long in bed. Don't know what ejaculating means? www.dictionary.com Although I do give you kids praise for not being up on the sex words. That's good! Wait till you're ready! Or married! :)
dalzuga 3
after she laughed, shoulda said "heyy, don't quote me on that"
martymcfly12 0
How is this a fml, who moderates this???
blackberry_fml 0
haha I agree with #94, would've been perfect
coopert28 0
Sounds like the start of a porno
IamSpartacus 0
This definitely is an FML, it's not like he was making a joke, and successfully made her laugh, it was that he accidentally said something, and she was laughing at him. Not in a cute, flirty way. I imagine her actually laughing directly at him.
Jari 0
Pfft, no biggie. I doubt she was laughing AT you, just an observation. I do stuff like that all the time; just gotta laugh it off.
Hurt16 0
I woulda been like u wanna find out?? ^__^
ohgeez99 0
phahaha i apologize but thats hilarious :)))
marinaim 17
WOAH SHIT. This is so undeserving of an FML, it's funny.