Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in three days. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house, despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML
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Top comments
wolfstar126 25
You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?
Mightyrif 23
YDI, plain and simple.
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Comments (58)
izzajaneful 24
The fact that you told them, drunk or no, should garner you a lighter punishment. My parents would have found it hilarious. Not that it would be mitigated completely, but they would have taken my humiliation at drunk dialing them into account.
Wutdafuqq 24
He definitely wasn't careful enough. He probably shouldn't have gotten so tanked.
TabooSushi 24
Aaaand this is why all car keys AND phones are confiscated and put into a safe in my bedroom upon anyone arriving at any of my parties in which alcohol is involved.
Zebediabolical 45
So if someone's kid gets sick the babysitter has to call the safe instead of the parent? I hope you leave someone nearby to answer the phones as they ring.
badgercheese94 16
I dun get this whole "getting shitfaced" thing. The first time I got drunk at a party I was talking to my mom on the phone, though thats cuz my aunt put her on. I really have not gotten drunk at a party since, at least not like that. If my kids did something like this they will get the belt, the sandal and the fly swatter!
kieralumina 30
why would you hit someone with a fly swatter? that's completely disgusting. do you know how many germs and dead insects are on those things? the sandal isn't much better since the ground outside is pretty filthy. besides, in this era the most effective punishment is the internet.
pacmanman 15
You had so much fun you had to tell your parents, huh?
jelrid 30
Well, if you're gonna throw a wild party like that again, stick your phone somewhere safer than your pocket before you get drunk.
Delsanity 13
You deserve it. ?
sahmnc420 13
Bet they are proud that u were comfortable enough to call them and they must trust u to leave u alone
jelrid 30
There is a difference between being to drunk to know what you're doing, and being comfortable calling your parents while in such a state.
DamnBailie 23
I knew this would be bad when I read "I thought"
Drosophila82 18
How long have you trained for this!