Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while packing up my classroom, I had a sudden stinging pain in my finger. Since I live in Arizona, my first thought was a black widow or scorpion, but the ER doctor didn't believe me and said it's nothing. Tell that to my tingling swollen arm. It’s been 4 hours. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
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Top comments
taoxyeuxmay 4
Karma is sweet!
redbluegreen 41
Gosh, why can't you just 'get over it' yourself? I hate people who say shit like that.
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Comments (321)
catriona_cd 0
just got through a post about equality. now put your big girl panties on and suck it up.. whats good for the goose is good for the gander :) you dont have big girl panties? you can borrow mine :P
lolmonster 0
Iorny at it's best ydi totally
yowzerz 5
That's what you get for being a bitch. Karma!
GriefBacon 0
YDI for being a total bitch to your boyfriend. Guys like the whole caring-woman thing. You should really try it sometime.
person1000003 0
LOL sux
echarperouge 0
Wow, so you're kind of a bitch.
IllegalLight 0
You sleep where scorpions are present? o___o.
CherryNinja2 0
Karma's a bitch I'd love if he told you to "suck it up" and get a taste of how he felt
Stormcat 0
they climb the walls its scary as ****
Travestie616 0
That comment made me laugh uncontrollably. I have no idea why.
FarSide 23
Arm is numb, you are crying, but you found the inner to compose and type this FML. FYL liar.
shighappens 0
KARMA!!! such a good example
giganticbrain 0
I agree. At the level of pain you seem to think you're in, how exactly did you recompose yourself to type this all out on FML? Was this your first instinct after being stung? Upon the moment of the event, did you think "God dammit! Hold on, wait a second....this would be perfect for FML!!!"? If so, you really need to detach yourself from technology.
glowingmonkeys 0
#179 props to you for having a high tolerance for scopions, but it's likely this person isn't like that. I know I have a low tolerance, and it hurt me like hell when I was stung.
MsSippi 0
you guys realize she never said "I immediately typed this on FML" It says "today", I know, but that doesn't mean it was actually today or in the same day as the incident. It could have happened a month ago for all we know. So not really a great point, if your going to claim it's fake.
KacieEron 0
if you have to type it right away then basicly all the FMLs on this site are "Fake" cause nobody's first instinct is to jump on FML and type what just happened to them. so quit being an ass and get a life. Please.