Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while packing up my classroom, I had a sudden stinging pain in my finger. Since I live in Arizona, my first thought was a black widow or scorpion, but the ER doctor didn't believe me and said it's nothing. Tell that to my tingling swollen arm. It’s been 4 hours. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
taoxyeuxmay 4
Karma is sweet!
redbluegreen 41
Gosh, why can't you just 'get over it' yourself? I hate people who say shit like that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (321)
gonzaval 0
Well In my case I got sting tree times at once and is not that painfull so no need to cry. I got sting 1 in my neck and 2 times on my chest. I am a female.
lifeinoz 0
I think what the OP meant to say was "my arm went numb and the first thing I had to do was type the story for FML!"
giganticbrain 0
haha thanks for clearing that up.
MsSippi 0
once again, I don't know where you are getting this. In fact it says "as I went to sleep" which leads me to believe it happened last night, at the very earliest.
etanico 0
karmas a bitch
e11e 0
dude why are there so many scorpions where u live? I used to live in Arizona and I have never seen a real live scorpion :P
glowingmonkeys 0
FYL. All you did was tell him to stop whining. That doesn't mean you deserve to be stung. All you deserve is for him to tell you to stop whining. The people saying YDI aren't really thinking. Also, most of them probably have never been stung and don't realize how bad it hurts. Good luck with your arm. When I was stung I was numb for a week.
tcvondey 0
it must have been pretty ******* hard 2 post this then
ShetHappensxx 0
Haha thats what you get for being a bitchy butthole. :P Karma is a biaatch!!!. YD!
Amkii 0
.....aren't scorpion stings fatal? You need to remove the venom asap before you need an amputation on the affected limb!!
shaeto 0
Stop whining?!? It's not a mosquito bite you idiot, it is NOT a good thing to get stung by a scorpion!