Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while packing up my classroom, I had a sudden stinging pain in my finger. Since I live in Arizona, my first thought was a black widow or scorpion, but the ER doctor didn't believe me and said it's nothing. Tell that to my tingling swollen arm. It’s been 4 hours. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
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Top comments
taoxyeuxmay 4
Karma is sweet!
redbluegreen 41
Gosh, why can't you just 'get over it' yourself? I hate people who say shit like that.
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Comments (321)
drdrcapone 0
Jesus Christ, get over a scorpion sting? Wow, you're a ******* moron. Seriously, that sting was well deserved.
My_Atreyu_oO 0
wow your a bitch..he should dump you and laugh cuz you fucken deserve that bite it shouldve bit your fucken arm off im sry if i come off a little strong but i hate bitches like you
papabear55 0
karma is a bitch!
emilyyy93 0
why te *** do you have scorpions just running around? are you in Egypt?!
Forremmy 0
There are scorpions in Texas and the desert regions of the U.S. My grandmother experienced 3 stings while she lived in Odessa, Texas.
wearinsexypants 0
The golden rule is do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Basically by acting that way towards your bf, you've given everyone permission to act that way towards you, and anyone who takes care of you or offers sympathy is a greater person than you. Now you know.
cadetxtemprencex 0
i'm not hindu or anything, but i totally believe in karma in terms of the more popular concept, "what goes around comes around". and you SO got karma, OP. maybe you were just in a bad mood, but still, you should really try being a better girlfriend if you want sympathy. and/or to NOT get bitten by a scorpion. SUCKS TO BE YOU! haha you SOOOOOOOOO deserved it.
QuidProQuo 1
What do you live in bumfuck egypt
echo419_fml 0
Most scorpions are not deadly. Scorpions found in the US are only possibly deadly to children and elderly, but their stings hurt like hell. Some compare it to getting shot. You deserve it.
Jari 0
Stop whining and get over it. Karma is a bitch, huh?
Forremmy 0
your turn to stop whining and get over it