Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
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Top comments
amberbby69 6
I hate mothers like this. It's not like if you were having sex by yourself. If she's gonna yell at you, she should be yelling at her son too. I would've just walked away, lol.
thatssomeBS 9
my mom would probably ask the girl when she was planning on having kids... you have it easy
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Comments (88)
VittiChan 2
ohh god. :s
tin_cup 27
That's what she was saying!
tokyohenjin 5
"Sexual intercourse"? Were you getting banged in a doctor's office or something?
namhowell 6
I hate those annoying parents with the "disrespecting the house" comment.
firecopy 6
uhhh are you guys stupid. Most middle schools in America have classes that are called sex Ed, human growth and development, or health.they define it as sexual intercourse ususally in your first year because sex has different meanings. (Yes I do go to a public school)
kiljoi 0
the mother sounds a little wacky to me. I know my gf and I have been heard before by parents n no one has ever been so mean to embarass us thankfully.
measishouldbe 17
My bfs sister tried to embarrass us with sex telling her parents we been doing it but failed miserably because it turned out everyone could hear her and her bf going at it instead.
perdix 31
Oops! Sorry about the double standard. Girls who have lots of sex with lots of guys are *****, while guys who have lots of sex with lots of girls are heroes. Sucks to be you. Signed, Society
esh_4 0
well at least this wasnt a generic fml where the dad told the son he could do better while the mom bitched at her. im not even gonna pick a side
oyashiro 0
i agree #31 its like if a key opens any lock its a master key. but if a lock is opened by any key its just a shitty lock
Elisabetha Aarron 18
You are a shitty person.
gatorgrl1988 0
sexual intercourse? really? how old are you forty? its call sex hunny
Spac3Ghost 0
ok, lets have sex....how unscientific =)
CoolStoryyBro 0
Its also called sexual intercourse "hunny". They mean the exact same thing. Two different people prefer two different things then deal with it, dammit.
ElizabethNL93 20
112, it's a lost cause.. The ones that know it as "sex" are just going to bitch and moan so you might as well let them.
somepartsareme 0
I bet this guy called it sexual intercourse 'cause he's got this nifty thing called free will. I hear it's a pretty great thing to have.