Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML
Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML
Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML
Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML
Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
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Top comments
FMLKitten 15
If he didn't trust you enough to take your purse to the bathroom, then I suggest you don't go out with him. Afterall, trust is one of the main ingredients to a healthy relationship, isn't it?
Sir_ND_Pity 35
As embarassing as it may have been, if you didn't you should have tried to explain to him what was going on. I'm sure he would have understood.
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Comments (75)
heliraptor 13
Your username.
clairelolz 5
So "charming"
MyCommentsSuck 21
Sounds to me like you should "stiff him on the bill" since he already has trust issues that he's bringing to the table. And after you leave that meal, don't go to another.
sig4life 18
Wow, Dutch much? That was a dick move, but he probably has been ditched a few times before. Sounds like he might be deserving of one again.
emag_eht 18
There's nothing wrong with going Dutch. He's just an asshole.
dan_in_wi 12
so, guessing there won't be a second one?
tsent8 15
Hey as payment invite him back to your place. Imagine the look on his face.
daniel_dd31 13
That puts you in quite a predicament.
zombieslayer83 19
Brings new meaning to blood money.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Doesn't sound so charming to me...
_thatbluh 5
Well that guy is cheap if he says that's . Whenever I go on a date ill pay for the bill.